Happy New Year motherfuckers!
Writing to you on a snowy day in Fairfax, it's time for the end of the year awards.
Congrats to Travis for taking home his first Chicken Bone Cup since 2003 in convincing fashion. He's been the best team for the last two months and a deserving champ. He also owes Ja'Marr Chase a fruit basket or something.
Let's hand out some awards...
Best Team Name:
A rare good year for team names! Gonna call this one a tie between ThongDeltaLambda and Bacon Lettuce Tornado.
Worst Team Name:
Majestik Møøse
Best team name that probably should have been retired after last year:
Extra Billy
Best Draft Picks:
Without looking too closely, probably me. I made a zillion worthless moves, but I made the playoffs thanks to Kupp, Taylor, Cook, Henderson, Lamar Jackson, and the TB defense. I also drafted Waddle for cheap and then cut him for no good reason.
Worst Draft Picks:
Robby, probably.
Most Wins in a season all-time: Sausage and Falafel, each with 13
Most Losses in a season all-time: Thong, with 13. Woof.
Best ass in jean shorts: Steve, taking the 5th place trophy and making his alma mater (and Rich) proud. Also makes sense, given his love for Tight Ends.
Worst lineup decisions: Sean, in the championship game. He's going be be thinking about this one for a long time.
Worst Best Trade:
Steve, who traded Kyle Pitts for Mike Davis.
Best Only Trade:
Mike Frank, who did the opposite. Was the only trade this year. That's pretty weak sauce everyone. Do better next year.
Best Luck:
Falafel, natch.
Worst Luck:
Steve, who had the 4th most points scored in the league but finished out of the playoff picture. But really, his team wasn't that good.
The Mike Frank Memorial 7-7 Award For Mediocrity:
Mike Frank, who finished 7-8.
Mr. Irrelevant:
Mike Cole (aka Brother Rappaport). Was he even in the league this year?
Poster of the Year:
Roaring back from oblivion in a drunken fury, this one goes to Mr. Steven G. Rappaport, Esquire!!! Congrats dude! I hope this makes up for missing the playoffs!!!
See y'all soon.
Cheers,
- The Commish
