Ok, so I just remembered Jason asked me to guest host this week's recap.
Apparently he is too busy jerking off an Eskimo in Iceland to do this,
so you're stuck with me. Unfortunately, I didn't pay attention to what
happened this week and am too damn lazy to go back and look at the
scores. Also, I have no idea how to post this to the recap blog so I'll
trust that no one will read this and Jason will figure out a way to get
this on the blog.
So, I almost decided to just skip it, since no
one reads this shit anyway. But then I realized that today marks a
very special anniversary. No, not the day Travis lost his virginity to a
Perkins waitress with three teeth. And, no, not the day I banged his
Mom in the backseat of a 1976 Lincoln Continental on the way to a sit-in
to protest women's suffrage. Nope...today is the day that one of my
favorite Giant coke addicts of all time, Lawrence Taylor, snapped Joe
Theismann's leg in half, giving rise to the naming of the Chicken Bone
Cup!!! Yes, today my friends, is the day that made all of this
possible.
So rather than recap this insanely ridiculous fantasy
season in which every player known to man has snapped his Achilles, and
in which Robby is running away with this whole friggin thing, I prefer
to use this recap as a way to raise a glass to all of you. And to Larry
and Joey for collaborating on that wonderful play so many years ago
that brought us all together. When you pull that wishbone on
Thanksgiving Day and make a wish, please also remember that Tibia/Fibula
wishbone that Mr. Taylor broke apart 30 years ago today! And please
pray that one of the Strobby brothers will defeat one of the Cole
brothers in this year's championship! As that appears to be where this
thing is heading, unless Pretzel Boy or Mr. Balding Wondernuts decides
to make a late push for the Fourth Seed!
Enjoy your week, Happy
Thanksgiving to you all!! And Travis, please remind your Mom to bring
the bullwhip and the bottle of Macallen 18 this year to the Christmas
Eve Key Party!!
Peace out, fucknuts!
