Well, it ain't rock bottom anymore (hello down there Maine), but it feels pretty damn close when Falafel is calling your office phone 17 times in a vain attempt to reach you primarily for taunting purposes. Not a banner weekend for most people in the league actually. Like week 1, everyone but no-life computer game geek Falafel has something to bitch about. Let's grouse.... (I am busy, tired,grumpy, and dealing with my annual Mongolian Death cough, so this week's recap will be short and barely coherent.)
I Falafeled In My Pants 100.78 Cobra Commander 78.47
My Bitch #1: Injuries for your faithful commish so far: Anthony Gonzalez, Brian Urlacher, Knowshon Moreno, Laurent Robinson, Mike Bell, Marion Barber, Dominik Hixon, Matt Forte's mojo.
My Bitch #2: That I have to resort to Bitch #1.
Kwan of the Thong 101.48 The Expendables 47.71
Thong begins his slow climb into the consolation bracket, while consoling himself about the Redskins' futility. Maine is the 2nd team (after Thong) to be declared DOA for the season.
Creeping Death 63.38 Hump or Death 54.03
This deadly matchup couldn't have been lamer. Brother Cole's fantasy team couldn't be worse, and his Tar Hears football team couldn't be more over-hyped going into their weekend smackdown at the hands of the Rambling Wreck of Bradley Tech. Meanwhile, Mazzle is 3-0, undefeated, and well aware that his team not-so-secretly sucks, with the 2nd worst total points in the league. Also his boyfriend was severly concussed on Saturday.
Kosher Sausage King 92.27 The Dane 63.36
Even "nice guy" Sean had reason to bitch. While he was busy starving his hair off, his Steelers were busy blowing a big lead to Cinci. But at least he beat Mike Frank and stuff. Watching Drew Brees throw up a little 1.97, MFrank threw up a little in his mouth.
The Wanstaches 106.70 Dead Kennedys 73.39
The game of the week was Strobby Bowl VII. Steve made his usual bonehead moves and got his ass kicked, while watching his boy-toy get concussed the day before. Meanwhile, Robby solidified his hold on the title of Regular Season Best Team, with another dominant showing over a hundred points. However, he had to endure the early end of his beloved Dolphins season and watch his beloved Chad #1 go down hard.
Scary Side Note - Is Robby's team so good it's Robby proof? Case in point: A good manager would have noted that Brian Westbrook was inactive on Sunday and made the no-brainer call of plugging in LeSean McCoy instead of a very gimpy Caddy Williams. Needless to say, Robby didn't do this. He left 12 points on the table and still put up 106. Scary. Even he might not be able to screw this one up? Nahhh....
Cough,
- The Commish
