Hi Everyone,
I don't often get serious on
this recap blog, but I can't be quiet any longer about how certain NFL players
have been behaving over the last couple weeks. These players should be
ashamed at what they’ve been doing. They've
disgraced themselves and everyone who pays their hard earned money to watch
them play football. I’m not sure I can
stomach another minute of these high-paid players acting in this manner. It
makes me so sad and angry. I mean, how
can you only score 6 points against the Jets and Saints combined?!? What the fuck Miami Dolphins?!? I’m offended by this offense! 10 million dollars for Jay Cutler and this is
what we get?!? Throw the fucking ball
downfield! Run the ball on 3rd
and 1! Don’t throw the fade pass in the
end zone! Stop committing every offensive
penalty possible! And I could get better
guard play out of homeless crackheads!
This is the worst team in football right now, and it makes me sick. I’m planning on taking a knee every time the
Dolphins are on offense, to protest them on general principles. Onto the recap…
Let’s start from the bottom up for a change…
Free Fallin’
At 0-4, Michael Seth Frank is falling apart. Going to have a hard time making it back to
.500 at this rate. His team is in
shambles and he’s – by far – scored the least amount of points in the
league. In week 3, he put up 32 whole
points. That’s hard to do even if you
tried. Seriously! Try it! I’ll wait…
And the main lesson here is that DeMarco Murray sucks, always and
forever.
It’s Good to Be King
The Sausage King notched his first win of the season in Week 4,
thanks to Bilal Powell, of all people.
He’s got to be in the top 5 running backs ever named Bilal. Maybe top 3 even. .. Sean is currently trying to figure out
whether to start Cam Newton or Matt Stafford, with CAR@DET, and on about 4
hours of sleep per night. Good luck with
that!
Breakdown
Falafel lost a 1 point squeaker to the Commish, when Derek Carr broke
down with a back injury last week. Zeke
Elliot has turned it on lately, but it still hasn’t been enough to keep Travis
from dropping 3 in a row and plummeting down to 8th place. With Carr out anywhere from 2 to eleventeen
weeks, he turns to Jameis Winston at QB.
Fortunately, he’s in the top 10 Jameis to ever play Quarterback
professionally.
Even the Losers
Get lucky sometime. Mike
Cole gets off the schneid with his first win of the season in Week 4, thanks to
Wilson and Kelce finally being Wilson and Kelce and his opponent not putting up
142 points. Mike continues to have no idea
who to play in his flex spot, but will deny it if you ask him.
You Don’t Know How It Feels
Maine’s team feels like it should be better than 1-3. It’s really good on paper. For the record, my team is 3-1 and I would
trade my whole team for his whole team.
This is a fact. (Maine – Email
me. This is a real offer. Not a joke.)
Don’t Do Me Like That
This is the week to be playing Brad’s formidable 3-1 team. Right now he has 7 (7!) players on Bye, has
no kicker, and also just picked up David Johnson (after Steve predictably
dropped him) for no reason other than to taunt me. Brad is supposed to be good at math, but this
isn’t adding up.
Runnin’ Down a Dream
Steve is in 4th place, still riding those Pats as far
down the road as it’ll take him. So far,
so good. He’s got 4 in his lineup and
you can’t really argue with any of them.
American Dream Plan B
So I lost half my team to injury, and I can’t manage to pick the
right guys any week to replace them. But
my other guys are stepping up to the plate, and I’m scratching and clawing and
playing above my station. It doesn’t
feel sustainable, but it’s been 2 whole weeks without an accident, so that’s
something.
Square One
The Thong arrow is pointing down for the first time all
season. He lost Dalvin Cook for the year,
and suffered his first loss of the season to fall out of 1st
place. Still will have his say, but time
for him to regroup.
Learning to Fly
Robby has scaled these heights before, only to fall short. Will this finally be the year he learns to
fly? Ya never know….
Peace and Love,
The Commish
