Week 9 Recap

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

Howdy folks,

Your trusty Commish here throwing it back with a traditional recap of Week 9's results.  And in a week where hope abounds, there's optimism to be found for each and every one of you miscreants.  Let's do it.. 

Dominus Dingus  97.17
Thongdemic 126.24

In the battle of the alleged top two fantasy teams in the country, this wasn't even close.  Thong left the door open, but I couldn't overcome the loss of Justin Jackson on the first play of the game and Tom Brady somehow getting possessed by the ghost of Ryan Leaf.   But I'm still in first place, and odds would say I'm bound to have a healthy team one of these days.  And Thong has a stranglehold on second place that's even stronger than the one he used to kill that hooker in '97.  #LetThongCook  

BACON-19         121.59
Master of Puppets 96.14

In a key matchup of 4-4 teams, Maine gets off the mini-schneid with a nice win over Mazzle thanks to the unreal Kyler Murray.  There's nothing else especially interesting to say about that win, so I'll take this opportunity to note that Maine's a nice guy and pays his taxes and really deserves to make the playoffs.  And now in 4th place, he's got a great chance to do just that.  Meanwhile, The Marvelous Mr. Mazzle is still in striking distance, and has Aaron Jones back and healthy, Mark Andrews due for a breakout, and Joe Mixon coming back as well.  He also has the Miami Defense, which is apparently awesome now somehow.   Mazzle just has to become a nice guy and start paying his taxes, and he's in great shape for the rest of the season.

Falafel Fantasy Team 93.03
Snausages 113.33

Speaking of great shape, how bout that Sausage King!  He's won 4 of his last 5 games and has squeezed firmly into the sausage casing that is 3rd place.   This week it was a relatively easy win over Falafel, thanks to Sherlock Mahomes and Keenan Watson Allen.  ... On the flip side, what the hell is Travis even doing over there?  This is a guy who is carrying two kickers, with one of them being Harrison Butker, who he left on his bench.  He's in 9th place and lost a bajillion in a row!  He can't afford to do shit like that!  BUT, on the positive side, he isn't in last place, so he still has a legit shot to not be Auction Bitch.  (Side note: Travis would most definitely put the "bitch" in Auction Bitch.  He'd complain more than Mike Cole does on a random Thursday.)

Extra Billy 152.11
Wolf Nipple Chips 143.06

In the shootout of the week, Robby found a little extra in the tank to edge his 2nd favorite cousin in the league named Mike.  Once again led by the Adams/Rodgers combo, Robby also got contributions from across the board.  This is a team that is definitely making some noise down the stretch.  And the fun just kept coming for Robby over the weekend, with not one, but TWO Tagovailoa brothers leading his favorite football teams to victories.  It's a great time to be Robby! (which is a sentence I never thought I'd write, but here we are...). .. Meanwhile, Mike Cole is still in the thick of things with a really good team and the 2nd most points scored in the league.  Chin up bro!

#Pencefly 84.01
The Kitchen Brothers 82.03

This one came down to Monday Night and Steve found himself in the weird position of having to root for the Jets offense.  That's never good.  But somehow they scored 27 points, and Steve held on for his 2nd victory of the season.  He's not quite out of last yet and his team - objectively- sucks balls.  But he's within a game of Travis, whose team sucks just as hard. ... The losing team here was Mike Frank, who has some talent, but just can't seem to get out of his own way.  He started the wrong QB and wrong DEF yet again.  If he only had more faith in the Jets or Bills, he would have won handily this week.  But the Giants bias is strong in him.  On the plus side though, I've heard Mike Frank's ass looks great in jean shorts.  So he's got that going for him.  

That's all folks.   Good luck in Week 10!  I'm sure you'll all win!

- The Commish