Hey folks,
Appropriately, this week was a major turkey for all trailing teams still harboring playoff hopes. It was a downright pathetic showing for them all in a must-win week, and completely underserving of a full recap. So here are some half-assed news and notes instead:
- Robby will not be repeating as champ, thus returning us to some semblance of normalcy. His reign of terror and our national nightmare is finally and mercifully over. I don't even care about the pandemic or the new Decepticon variant, I'm just glad I don't need to see another one of his fucking custom T-shirts ever again.
- I held off Robby this week to stay in meaningless first place, but I officially have Problems with a capital P. Like Jim Abbot's right hand, Noah Fant officially can not be counted on. Plus my RBs are dropping like flies - Dalvin Cook went down, Darell Henderson is banged up, and Chris Carson and Michael Carter are dunzo. Also, I have no receivers beyond Aiyuk and Kupp (who is getting vultured by Beckham now). This is looking super dicey....
- Mike Frank, Maine, and Strobby averaged 85 points each this week and deserve to miss the playoffs and also get dysentery.
- Even Thong's hopes (of not being Auction bitch) took a major hit this week when he lost to the 9th place fighting Brother Coles. Better ask for a new keyboard for Christmas.
- Though I've shied away from using the pejorative moniker of "Brother Cole" in recent years, I've brought it back for this post only as Mike Cole has brought shame to the family name over the past few seasons of underperformance and it can't be ignored any longer. From now on, until he has a winning season, he shall be referred to as Brother Rappaport.
- Back to Thong for a hot minute here....he has the least total points scored AND the most total points scored against him. That's hard to do.
- Travis Lawson Harrup is better than us. His team is stacked and is lapping the field on total points. The only playoff seeding drama now is which one of the three of us have to face him in the first round. ("Not it!")
- Bradley Charles Mazzle-Muzzle is worse than us. His team is weak sauce. The only playoff seeding drama now is which one of the three of us get to face him in the first round. ("Dibs!")
- Sean really enjoys reading these posts, so I'll be sure to mention him at some point.
- Wither Steve. He has lost 4 in a row, has made 61 transactions, has $0 left to spend on waivers, and left Cedric Wilson on his bench in favor of Robbie Anderson for no reason other than he was already drunk by 11:36am on Thanksgiving.
- And now its time for your FANTASY TIP OF THE WEEK - Don't be afraid to cut your second best player if they have a bad game. It sends a message to the rest of your team and your squad will be better overall in the long run. This has been your FANTASY TIP OF THE WEEK.
That's all folks.
Suck it!
- The commish
