Hi Folks!
So this thing still exists? I'm as surprised as you all.
I'm ever short on time these days, so I'm gonna get right to the point. No beating around the bush. Just the facts today. Only bullet points. The elevator pitch version of the recap. You're only getting the most pertinent information in an easily digestible format with no superfluous words. I sincerely hope that's OK for all of you fine people. Here we go. Let's get to it.
The Braves season is over, finally.
The Dolphins season is over, prematurely.
The Miami Hurricanes are newly good.
The Detroit Lions are still good.
The Washington Football Team is maybe good, but let's not get carried away yet.
The Mets are somehow still playing baseball.
After 4 weeks of Chicken Bone, there's not so much certainty. Steve really loves being Auction Bitch and Brad shouldn't have bid $70 on Travis Kelce, but other than that, everyone is mostly doing ok. So let's go through a quick power ranking and note a few notable notes about each team:
# 10. Mazzle
- Lamar Jackson is still fun.
- Bijan Robinson is not what we thought he would be
- His WRs are all boom/bust guys. No idea why he didn't accept my Xavier Worthy trade offer.
- Rome Odunze has been voted most likely to be mispronounced by Rich at next year's draft.
- This team is dog doo and Dontayvion Wicks is not the answer.
- Same amount of points scored as 2-2 Robby.
- Most points scored against so far.
- Hurts and a healthy AJ Brown after the bye-week could help matters. Kinda.
- Waddle is useless now
- Chubb has always been useless
- Nailor?! Hardly know her!
- Glad you outbid me for Kupp. Thanks for that.
- Saquon is balling
- Sun God is so dependable
- What the hell happened to Mark Andrews? Seeing his face on milk cartons.
- DAndre Hopkins has a fork in his back
- Tell your mom to leave me alone. She's been laying in my fucking water bed since Labor Day.
- For someone that plays so much fantasy football, spending $65 on an injury prone RB and not drafting a handcuff seems like malpractice.
- Everyone needs to stop trying to make Tank Bigsby a thing. It's not a thing.
- Brock Bowers is a great Tight End name AND a great porn star name. Quick - pitch me some movie titles.
- I normally give MCole the benefit of the doubt, but this is not a good team. #7 might be generous.
- A lot of inconsistent mediocrity here
- Tyreek Hill is useless now
- Xavier Legette sounds like he should be the backup small forward for the Minnesota Timberwolves.
- Taysom Hill is the most frustrating guy to own in fantasy football. He fools gold.
- Sam Darnold?!?!!!!! What is happening? And how good must Justin Jefferson be!?
- It's ironic because Sean doesn't eat pork. Is it beef Sausage?
- CeeDee Lamb is pretty good. You like CeeDee?
- Alvin Kamara is still a fucking stud.
- Rule of thumb: never draft a dude after holding out all of camp and preseason. See Brandon Aiyuk and everyone ever.
- Cee Dee Nutz!!!!
- Malik Nabers was a find for both me and the Giants.
- Tony Pollard has scored 12 points or more in every week but Week 3. I have only started him in one week. Guess which week?
- Perhaps Thong should have outbid my $1 for Brian Robinson
- Kyler Murray might not be the answer. Open to trades once my guys stop getting concussed.
- Aaron Jones is going to get hurt any day now. He's a ticking time bomb.
- As usual, I can't separate these guys. They are within 4 points scored on the season.
- This is the Drake London breakout season (MFrank)
- Achane is useless now (MFrank)
- Season 5 of Fargo was great (MFrank)
- Derrick Henry is a MAN. (Thong)
- While I agree with the sentiment, tis team name is triggering (Thong)
- And also, they were never not great (Thong)
- Both of these guys' teams are pretty damn good! Hoping they meet in the championship game, so we can watch the combined regression to the mean take down Yahoo's servers.
- Is this finally Maine's year?
- Other than WR3, FLEX, and TE, there aren't a lot of weak links.
- Wait a minute... is that too many weak links?
- How is he in first place? Can he keep this up?
- This may not be his year.
