Merry New Year Everybody!
So... that’s another fantasy season in the books.
Overall Review: 2.5 stars out of 5. It was....fine.
Here's a half-hearted year-end recap.....
HARDWARE
Congrats to Falafel for winning the Chicken Bone Cup.
Congrats to Mazzle for a valiant runner up.
Congrats to Sean for the 1 Seed in the playoffs and 3rd place overall.
Congrats to Maine for jack all.
Congrats to MFrank for winning the Jean Shorts over an angry and bitter Thong.
Congrats to me for not blowing my brains out.
Congrats to Robby for (see below).
Congrats to Steve for not finishing as Auction Bitch.
Congrats to MCole* for his worst season on record.
Speaking of records....
RECORD BOOK
Robby had the hardest strength of schedule All-Time, with an average of 133.23 points scored against him each week. But he took it like a fucking champ, and we had no idea. Imagine the complaining if it was me, MCole, or Falafel! Mad props to Extra Billy.
I had the easiest strength of schedule All-Time, with an average of 69.89 points scored against me each week....in 2008. This year was pretty good too though, adjusted for inflation.
Mike Frank had the most points scored in a single week, All-Time with 197.27 points scored in Week 16. He held the record for exactly 7 days, as I scored 199.47 points in Week 17. Whoop-de-frickin-do.
AWARDS
Best Team Name: "The Tortured Bacon Department" Both current and apt.
Worst Team Name: "I know CCCPR" Both useless and terrible.
Best team name that should have been retired four years ago: Extra Billy
Best Draft Picks: Falafel (Saquon for $48, Joe Burrow for $5)
Worst Draft Picks: Mazzle (17 Tight Ends for 1 Million Dollars)
Best Waiver Pickups: Fuck if I know
Most Waiver Pickups, that amounted to nothing when it was all said and done, and he really could have saved himself a lot of time and effort: MCole (53)
Least Waiver Pickups: Maine (16)
No Waiver Pickups: Seth
Baldest: Sean. Still champ.
Hairiest: Commish. Still champ.
Most hair lost during the season (metaphorically): MFrank
Most hair lost during the season (literally): Thong
Only Trade:
Calvin Ridley Ten - WR Traded to Sword of the Shogun
T.J. Hockenson Min - TE Traded to The Tortured Bacon Department
The Mike Frank Memorial 7-7 Award: Once again, Mike Frank! He finished 7-8 in the regular season, and 8-7 if you include the playoffs. Which averages out to 7.5 - 7.5. How does he keep doing this year after year?
Mr. Irrelevant: Thong. If he didn't show up for the draft, I might have thought this was a Weekend at Bernie's situation with his team. Has anyone heard from him lately?
Texter/Emailer of the Year: Eh, probably Falafel. He out worked us and out trashed talked us for months.
See y'all next season!
- The Commish
