Week 15 Recap

Um, like I just said - that sucked. Here's what happened to result in the godforsaken Mazzle v. BrotherCole final we unfortunately have on our hands....

Mazzle 104.69 Sir Chokesalot 55.74

Bradford Mellamazien put on a show this week that ensures no one will forget his name again. Playing the "nobody believed in us" card, he put up a huge snow-aided total and has successfully made it back to lose in the Championship Game. His team had an amazing CG factor, and no team had a shot against him, let alone mine. ... Between snow, injuries, inexplicable ineffectiveness, and plain old bad managing, everything that could go wrong, did. In one week, I managed to get hit with all the bad luck I had avoided all season. It was like watching my pet doberman get eaten by Godzilla. Or something. Anyhow, it sucked, but it was somehow unsurprising. Sometimes the fantasy football gods just don't shine upon you, and I was due.



Flop The Nvts 68.56 Plethora of Piñatas 64.86

In the most uninspiring playoff game of all time, M. Cole earned a 5-4 decision over M. Tamayo. This wasn't a hard one to predict (hi!), as Tamayo without Tom Brady is like women without breasts. Useless. This was lower scoring than Robby in college. So anyhow.... somehow, some way, BrotherCole makes it back to the finals, where he's not only proven how to win, but how to win ungraciously. Oh goody.




Porn on the Cobb 75.38 Karmasabitch 40.98

In the Strobby Playoff spectacular, the latter half of Strobby was anything but. Meanwhile, the former half continues his annual quest for the Jean Shorts of Destiny.

Touchdown My Thong 64.47 Punters on Roids 29.41


Oh, who the fuck cares?






Look forward later this week to Falafel's Championship Preview. Guaranteed to be wrong, or your money back.

Everyone can bite me,
- The Commish

Week 14 Recap

Hey there Michael Cole, Michael Tamayo, and Bradley Malemezian! Congratulations and welcome to the playoffs!!! Though your stay will be short-lived, please enjoy yourselves and be sure to wipe your feet on the way inside Thunderdome. Four men shall enter, but only one (hi!) shall remain. But how did we get here, you ask? The recap shall remind you...



Only two games mattered, so that's all that I'm recapping. I will note, however, that all 4 of us playoff participants scored over 100 points this week. Nobody is backing into the playoffs; in fact, this might be the deepest and strongest playoff field we've ever had.


Oh, and I'll also note that with this week's win, Sir and the Loins set a Chicken Bone regular season record going a gaudy 13-1. So suck on that, people that are named Robby Friedman!


Plethora of Piñatas 122.86
Man of A Million Names (aka Steve) 77.05
In a choke job reminiscent of his college days, Steve got blown out on the last weekend of the season to seal his consolation bracket fate. And while he'll tell you that he's content with a possibility at jean shorts, he's lying more than Thong is about his sexuality. Though he came on strong later in the season, it was an ultimately disappointing year for Steve-o, considering the Adrian Peterson lottery he hit. ... Meanwhile, Mr. Tamayo is an unstoppable juggernaut at this point. He is unbeatable - like Ivan Drago. And he just killed Apollo Steve's season.


Mazzle 115.92
Fassel's Falafels 99.65
In a stunning turn of events, Falafel actually scored more than 60 points. Oh, but Brad scored more. Using a strong balanced attack, Mr. Malemezian showed everyone why he deserves to lose in the first round of the playoffs. He's like the Clubber Lang of this league - he's big and black and wears a lot of jewelry. Also, he's on the A-Team. I hope this analogy was helpful.

Got a meeting to run to, but look forward on Friday to Falafel's Annual Playoff Preview Extravaganza!!!


Cheers,
- The Commish

Week 13 Recap

Well, it had to happen sometime folks. All good things must come to an end, and so it was this week. For the first time in what seems like forever... Falafel has fallen into dead last place in the league. But that's not the only thing to discuss after last night's great MNF game. So a-recapping we shall go....

Tebow For He15man 110.83 Karmasabitch 92.25

In the "Hole Bowl," Steve pulls out a big one. Thanks to his big studs - Cletus and PJ - he is now in a prime position to make the playoffs (and proving that you don't need no stinkin WRs to win in this league). Also, there is no truth to the rumor that Steve sleeps with a Tim Tebow blow-up doll. No truth whatsoever. ... On the flip side of the coin, this is the first and only season that Robby uses the word Karma inappropriately in his team name. Karma has taken offense.

Flop The Nvts 84.79 Mazzle 81.54

It's now time for the annual Mazzle Choke-athon!!! It's like the Toyota-thon, only with less trucks and more sobbing. This past week, all he had to do was beat a BrotherCole, who wanted nothing more than to lose. Unfortunately, neither got what they wanted, as LDT foiled them both. Tune in next week, when Brad tries to do the impossible - lose to Falafel.

Touchdown My Thong 75.65 Punters on Roids 69.51

A kangaroo is a marsupial from the family Macropodidae (macropods, meaning 'large foot'). In common use the term is used to describe the largest species from this family, the Red Kangaroo, the Antilopine Kangaroo, and the Eastern and Western Grey Kangaroo of the Macropus genus. The family also includes many smaller species which include the wallabies, tree-kangaroos, wallaroos, pademelons and the Quokka, some 63 living species in all.[1] Kangaroos are endemic to the continent of Australia, while the smaller macropods are found in Australia and New Guinea. Green Team!

The Barber 88.82 Fassel's Falafels 49.38

Not sure what to say about this one either. Falafel's struggles have been well documented. And MFrank, though flirting with respectability lately, is still 4-9. He's pretty good at racquetball, I suppose.

Plethora of Piñatas 92.06 Sir Loin 83.88
OK, so I lost a close one to the 2nd best team in the league. There's no shame in that.


Happy Hanukkah Everybody!!!
- The Commish