Welcome to Recap 2: Recap Harder! The big news this week was the insanely high scores put up in both the NFL and this league. These scores were higher than Thong's dad on meth. They were higher than Steve "Urkel" Rappaport's pants. They were higher than the commish's hair at his bar mitzvah. So, what I'm saying I guess, is that they were high and stuff.
But how did they get so high, you ask out loud, making your coworkers wonder why you're talking to the computer screen and if maybe they need to report you to the boss on the suspicion of being a lunatic and besides they think you might have stolen their leftovers from the Cheesecake Factory out of the fridge because a half-a-salad doesn't just walk away on its own and go join the Lettuce Navy, because that would be crazy. So, uh, recap anyone?
Forman's Grillers 122.01 Lords of Ham 108.36 The newbies came to play! In the hottest action of the weekend, Mr. Forman takes the Michael Tamayo Memorial Bald Guy Trophy with a huge performance from T.O. on Monday Night Football. Maine technically did nothing wrong (aside from drafting overrated running backs), but he just ran up against a buzzsaw this week. In honor of the Sausage King notching the high score of the week and moving to 2-0 on the young season, I'll note here that Sean is technically "balding" and not "bald". (Just like Maine's mom is technically a "slut" and not a "whore.")
Thong 113.70 The Non-Brady Bitch 93.68The law firm of Manning, Earnest, and Gostkowski got thrown out of court in this high-stakes trial by fire. The plaintiff, Mr. Richard Spady, won a victory thanks partially to the testimony of a Mr. Romo and the evidence provided by Monsignor McFadden. (Though the argument brought by a one Senior Houshmandzadeh had to be ignored by the jury after finding out that he a) wasn't a US Citizen and b) sucked.) Also, Steve lost because of a priori assumption, consensus facit legem, and de facto habeas corpus esquire. Also, no Tight End.
I Flunked Flank 119.94 Left Hand Falafel 92.29 In yet another barn burner, BrotherCole bested Falafel in this battle of washed-up former champs. BroCole goes to 2-0, owes someone named "Big Guns" Ed money, and still needs a Tight End. Falafel still loves his Eagles, doesn't have a Tight End either, and sniffs glue for fun.
Chief of Staff 86.39 Achy-Breaky Assmaster 63.05In the non-redonkulous division, your humble Commish turns in another consistent performance to turn back the Seaman and move to 2-0 on the season. The Man has won 16 of his last 17 regular season games, dating back to 2006. In loser news, Robby needs a healthy toe (camel or otherwise) for LDT, a Defense for Hanukkah (preferably before), and a Tight End.
Team of Morons 60.90 Seek & Destroy & Suck & Cry 47.73
Wow, really? I mean, really??? Can we all vote to give both of these teams a loss this week? I think we can do that kind of thing in a PLUS league. In a week like this, these two teams just set the mark for futility. Other than Bradley needing a Tight End, I have nothing else to say here. I mean....wow. Just wow.
Peace,
- The Commish
