Hey there, chumps and chumpettes. That was a thoroughly enjoyable weekend of college football for just about everyone not named Robby in the league. Big wins for the Hoos, Tarheels, Panthers, and Gators. (And nobody cares about the Hurricanes these days. How sad is that?). And things were equally festive on Sunday, with the Fins continuing to impress. (I'm naming my next child "Wildcat Cole.") But alas, only approximately 50% of the league could win their fantasy matchups. Time to Live Free or Recap Hard:
Seek & Destroy 73.08 Chief of Cocky 64.00
A Brandon Jacobs start away from remaining undefeated, alas, it was not to be for your trusty Commish. Bradley Charles Malemezian continues his hot streak with a low-ish point total, but a big-ish win. After starting out 0-2, he's now primed nicely for a playoff run. On the flip side, your Commish now realizes his team actually sucks and is in all out panic mode.
Lords of Bacon 105.74 I Flunked Football 97.22
In the barnburner of the week, Maine relied on a big Bernard Berrian performance on MNF to defeat the scourge that is BrotherCole. Also of interest, the term barnburner was derived from the idea of someone who would burn down his own barn to get rid of a rat infestation. So what this means is that BrotherCole is a rat, whom Maine set on fire? Or is Ronnie Brown the fire and John Carlson the rat? Or is Maine's toupee the rat, and BrotherCole's vagina the fire? This is all getting confusing.
Del Boca Vista 92.07 Achy From the Rape 48.16
Stevie is coming on strong! After firing General Manager Turd Ferguson, Steve Rappaport has become the class of the league, winning Strobby Bowl XIV by a healthy margin. His 2 wins in a row over the retarded portion of the league no doubt endeared him to Sarah Palin yesterday, you betcha! (Yes, Steve actually met her yesterday. Rumors of Steve getting a blow job from the VP Candidate are unconfirmed as of press time) .. In other news, Robby was horribly shell-shocked from his Terps getting crushed. (get it? shell-shocked?!? ha!) Anyhow, that's the only explanation I can come up with for him starting Trent Edwards over Big Ben and Anthony Fassano over Dallas Clark. Perhaps he should also fire his general manager, depicted here in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1Q6h0p6faU
Sweeney Thong 115.92 Moron of Morons 65.74
Thong makes an attempt at league relevance with a bold statement this week. He killed MoronFrank and manged the high point total of the week (which gets him nothing but this pat on the back, but still...). Do not count out the Thong people. He has never looked this strong this late in the season. Watch your ass cracks. .. Meanwhile, I go mentioning Moron Frank in a column last week and this is what he puts up? Now he knows why I don't talk about him.
Forman's Grillers 99.31 The Fallen Falafel 49.78
Another big week for The Sausage King, who is now alone, undefeated, in first place. Falafel, on the other hand, is in dead last place. If not for the big UVA win, I'd call the San Diego police suicide hotline for him. How far he has fallen from the elite of the league. We used to count on you man! What happened!? I have no explanation.
- The Commish
