Anyhow, as you can probably tell, I'm still fired up from the weekend's Dolphins Debacle. I threw up in my mouth at the end of that thing, as it was the first game we Fins Fans cared about in about two years, and we had our frickin hearts torn out. (And mostly by a former Hurricane and Wahoo to boot). And speaking of former Wahoos, I'm guessing Thong had an even worse Sunday. But more on that below. For it's time for Recap VI: The Recappening!
Chief of Staff 48.99 League of Shit 38.24
3 Words: Dom. In. Ant. That's right. In another dominating performance, your trusty Commish trounces MFrank by double digits and keeps his stranglehold on 2nd place. You do not want a part of Chief of Staff right now. You do not want any of this. ... OK, fine. This was a debacle. I'm not sure if we set a record for least combined points, but if not, we should have. Bad lineup decisions, bad defenses, bad byes. Swollen egos, swollen reputations, swollen testicles. Injuries, negative points, and hot garbage. You name it, this matchup sucked it. As of about 5:30 PM on Sunday, I had a total of 8 points. League of MFrank didn't have a single player reach 10 points. I could go on, but you get the point. Bottom line: Brandon Jacobs is the man, and despite the downward trend, I'm looking good for the playoffs. And in general. Looking good, that is. :-)
Lords of Bacon 106.76 Meek & Destroyed 89.21
Does Maine have the best team in the league? It's certainly possible. Right now it's between him, BroCole, and The Sausage King. He's putting up a crapload of points every week, even with people on byes. Bradford C. Mallimazien scored decently this week, but he was no match for the power that is Jermaine F. Peguese. He moves back into a 4th place playoff position and nothing can go wrong for him now. Nothing. I Flunked Flank 89.83 Sinking Shipmaster 78.53
It's so cute when Robby tries to be competitive. He's like a little puppy nipping at your leg. Or crapping on your carpet. Either way, it's just so adorable! .. In other Robby news, we need to stage an intervention. I know you have blinding love for the Dolphins and all, but you can't keep starting Anthony Fassano over Dallas Clark. You can't! I know you had some "logic" for the move, but it needs to stop. We love you man. You can't keep going on like this. I miss my cousin...
Forman's Grillers 93.58 Del Taco 80.96
Everything's coming up Sausage! Even with one Colston tied behind his back, Mr. Forman continues his lifetime chicken bone undefeated record. .. But you want to know a dirty little secret? His team isn't that good. It really isn't. He realistically, should be in about 7th or 8th place right now, if you do all the math. He's a paper tiger, not worthy of a playoff spot, let alone an undefeated record. He's going to lose to the Thong this week, and then lose again, and lose some more, and then keep losing. Those are just facts. Facts and math. You can't argue with facts and math. You just can't.
Enter The Falafel 139.13 Thong-tha-Thong-Thong-Thong 79.83
Meanwhile, speaking of Thong, man did he have a bad Sunday! Not only did his beloved Redskins blow a home game to the lowly Rams, but he got crushed by his so called "friend" Falafel. Then he found out that his stud (and only) QB is out with a stinky picky for the next month. And all this week, he's dealing with crappy QB trade offers from the huddled masses out there in Chicken Bone Land. Not good times. ... In the other corner, Falafel reared his ugly head with a huge score, and is sorta kinda back in the hunt. (That's not the only head he reared, if you get my drift.) (If you don't get my drift, I'm implying that Travis has anal sex with other men.)
Cheers fools!
- The Commish
