One week to go, and a silly number of teams are still in it. That's the good news. The bad news is I have to figure out the playoff scenarios for this shit. Here we go...
*1. Falafel 1st Seed 10-3-0
He's in like Donkey Kong. Everyone is rooting for him this week, and nobody is rooting for him after this week.
*2. The Electric Bacon 8-5-0
Clinched the 2nd seed. This week is more irrelevant to Maine than the vegetable options at a breakfast buffet.
3. A Tiger in Africa? 7-6-0
Beat Falafel this week and he's in. Lose and he would need an extremely unlikely point differential help to make it. Basically, he would need to outscore the winner of Robby and Rich, if Steve loses, or if Steve wins, then he would need to outscore the winner of that or the winner of Brad/Mike, unless it's a full moon, carry the 7...er.....ok...fuck it...Lose and he's out.
Disclaimer: Due to the unlikely event of large swings in point differentials, plus my laziness, all remaining playoff analysis, unless otherwise stated below by the undersigned, follows the existing point differential paradigm listed in the current league standings esquire.
4. Team of Density 7-6-0
All Steve has to do is beat the last place team to advance to the playoffs. That's it. That's all. He's got it made in the shade. Lose, however, and he's out. But why even think like that? He's got it. No problem. Go Steve!!!!!! Make us proud!!!
5/6. The Goy's Teeth 6-7-0 / FrayedEndsofSanity 6-7-0
The loser of this matchup is D-U-N, done. The winner definitely makes the playoffs with BOTH Steve and BrotherCole losing. If only one of them loses, then to make it, the Brad/MFrank winner needs to stay ahead of the Robby/Rich winner in total points and recite the alphabet while hopping backwards in a straight line.
7/8. The Choot Spas 6-7-0 / Captain Amerithong 6-7-0
The loser of this matchup is out, drinking egg-nog in their underwear on the couch while the playoffs are starting. The winner definitely makes the playoffs with BOTH Steve and BrotherCole losing. If only one of them loses, then to make it, the Robby/Rich winner needs to move ahead of the Brad/MFrank winner in total points and fist a midget under the mistletoe.
9. Major Blowhard 6-7-0
I'll be back.
10. Clinched Last Place 3-10-0
The team name speaks for itself. Happy Hanukkah, Seanie!
Good night and good luck,
The Commish
