Back around these parts, with 4 teams at 4-1 at this point for the first time ever, it's still anyone's season. Who knows what the playoffs will bring, or if any of the bottom tier can rally before then? In any case, I've decided that it's high time for a throwback, traditional recap. And speaking of high times, before the recapping starts, here's my list of NFL Marijuana all-stars:
QB - Mike Vick
RB - LeGarrette Blount
RB - MJ-Drew
RB - Marshawn Lynch
RB (Ret.) - Ricky Williams
WR - Jerome Simpson
WR - Kenny Britt
WR - Randy Moss
WR - Santonio Holmes
TE - Fred Davis
K - John Potter
DEF - Oakland
- Private Privates 106.73 Duck Butter 88.63
- Robby puts up a pretty respectable total once again, and once again comes up emptier than his date's vagina on prom night. When your best free agent pickups so far are a white wide receiver on the Dolphins and a kicker nicknamed "Legatron," you know you're getting desperate. ... On the winning side, the Privates ride the high scoring Chicago defense and the resurgent Marquis Colston to a commanding victory despite a poor showing during the early games. (However, with both of them on bye this week and Cedric Benson having Cedric Benson-like things happen to him, Week 6 for your trusty Commish may be rougher than Falafel's mom in the sack.)
- Free Pussy Riot 96.66 Bacon Cthulhu 61.49
- Gonna go out on a limb here and say right now that I think this is Steve-O's year. He's got the will, he's got the way, and he even avoided getting raped at a seedy Jensen Beach motel. Everything's coming up Steve! (Also, his team is fuckin stacked.) ... This week he laid the smack down on the reeling Bacons, who - I'm not making this up - have the official motto, "Dead in the water."
- 'Twas the Middle One 99.64 Sad But True 82.13
- BrotherCole keeps his season on life support, thanks largely to a throwback game from Reginald Wayne. However, at this point, he'd trade Chris Johnson for a sack of potatoes. ... Bradley, on the other hand, would love to have Chris Johnson, his team is so bad. Heck, he'd love to have Lyndon Johnson. Hell, he'd even take Oh Long Johnson.
- Hurricane Falafel 85.74 Clinched Last Place 58.28
- Falafel is Cruzing right along again this year, stacked at WR and thin everywhere else. It's a recipe for disaster, but not last week. For he had the good fortune of playing the Sausage King of Suckago. Perhaps if Sean didn't have 6 different fantasy teams (not an exaggeration), he might actually field a decent one.
- Larry's Homework 86.60 Thongmetheus 66.98
- Well here's another throwback observation for you - two actually. Both annual traditions! Everyone together now -
- Is Mike Frank for real? His team looks kind of good. Think he might have a shot at making the playoffs?
- Looks like Thong is going to finish 7-7 after all.
- Every! Single! Year!
- The Commish
