Hey gang,
Given that I'm completely and utterly unmotivated to do work this morning, it seems like a perfect excuse for some premature recapulation. I can't help it. Sometimes I just get so excited I can't wait.
(Point totals below projected).
Larry's Homework 101.74 Private Privates 69.69
With half my players on bye or hurt, this one was over before it started. Mike Frank kicks the ever-loving crap out of me to move into first place and is starting to feel pretty good about making the playoffs. With Drew Brees slinging it into the end-zone and Joe Flacco slinging it to the Texan's D, there really wasn't a doubt here. Is this the year of the Frank? Is he for real!?! (Um...no. Look at his running backs.)
Bacon Cthulhu 103.99 Hurricane Falafel 54.02
Speaking of ass whoopings, Falafel was never in it against the fighting Bacons, and is going to lose his 2nd in a row to fall out of playoff position. ...Meanwhile, I'd be worried about Maine if he wasn't 2-5. The Baconaters have quite the lively assortment of talent on their team, led by his Redskins - RG3 and AM1. (Thong kicks himself in the ass every day that he didn't draft either one of those guys.)
'Twas the Middle One 96.68 Duck Butter 91.19
Robby comes up just short on Monday Night Football tonight, as the Bears beat the Lions 23-13. The Lions Defense only nets him 5 points, while Calvin Johnson scraps together 45 yards and the Lions lone touchdown to earn 9 points. BrotherCole keeps his season alive with the win. (If he comes back from 2-4 to win this league again, I will kill a blind chipmunk with my bare hands.)
Free Pussy Riot 85.44 Sad But True 77.83
The finer smelling half of Strobby flips the script on Monday night and scores enough to overcome Bradley's giant week (for him). Marshall goes for 91 yards, Leshore goes for a measly 32, and Hanson kicks 2 field goals to net Steve-O about 18 points, which is plenty. By the 3rd quarter, with the victory secured, he goes happily to sleep (as he always does, in mix of his own tears and semen.)
Thongmetheus 81.55 Overpaid QBs 75.19
A valiant effort from the Sausage King wasn't enough. He really just can't catch a break, with not only MJD going down with an injury, but him finally paying enough attention to drop Rashad Jennings from his team last week. Doh!!! Nothing can save him now. ... Thong gets the win with a huge game from Vincent Jackson, who, for no reason whatsoever, isn't called "Vince Jackson." Thong goes to 4-3 on the season, thus ensuring he'll lose next week.
Until next time...
- The Commish
