Howdy Folks,
Before getting into the festive Week 3 recap, a few words about the alleged NFL team, the Miami Dolphins.
The really sad thing, to me, is that all of the players and coaches are actually trying really hard. They really are. And this is the BEST that they can do. They simply can't do any better. They are just not good at doing the one thing that they are paid to do - play professional football. They are not bad people. They are just bad at football. At this point, I just feel sorry for them. And they still have to play 13 more games.
Now for this week's recap, sponsored by Google Autocomplete suggestions....
Commish Choad 121 - SteveO 80
When I type the phrase "steve is a" into Google, the 2nd suggestion is "steve
is a scuba diver who is concerned". And he should be concerned after that performance! It's still early in the season, but that was quite the steep drop underwater from first to fifth for Steve. Plus, the new Pink Floyd album just got delayed! See - Steve should have saved his bitching. He blew his wad last week, and he probably doesn't have any vitriol left...
BaconCraft 135 - ShitStain 125
More fun with Google's Autocomplete:
"Jermaine is here" (1st suggestion)
"Jermaine is gay" (2nd suggestion)
Three weeks into the season, and it's already been a wild ride for Maine. RGIII, AP, Ryan Matthews, Moreno, etc. Somehow though, his team is way better than you'd expect considering all the auction money already flushed down the toilet. He's 2-1 and scrappin! Donald Brown! (However, when you consider Peterson, Cooper, and Boldin, there are a large percentage of assholes on his team. And I'm just betting Zach Ertz is a dick too.)
Sean Forman 115 - Mike Cole 106
Once again, Google Autocomplete has the answers. When I type in the phrase "why is my brother", the very first suggestion is "why is my brother retarded". (No surprise there.) Meanwhile, the first suggestion is for "sean is" - "sean is awesome". (Good for him!) ... At 0-3 it's already starting to look like another lost season for Mike Cole. Can he turn it around against me next week with half my team on bye? It's now or never....
Bradley 113 - Mike Frank 80
I couldn't love these first suggestions more:
"bradley is a girl's name"
"mike is a theory"
Bradley surges back into second place with her team getting big weeks from Matty Ryan and Jeremy Maclin and probably some other guys too. She convincingly beat Mike Frank, who - according to the Mike Theory of Mediocrity - must have been on an off week.
Thong 109 - Robby 69
This one was off the board in Vegas before it even started. They couldn't make the point spread high enough. You can't stop Thong, you can only hope to contain him. I think Google suggests it best - "rich is gangsta"
Cheers,
"commish is wise"
