Mike Cole is thankful that his team put up a whopping 177 points this week for no reason whatsoever. Where on earth did that come from? He beat Sean's first place squad by 50 freakin points. This is what he envisioned on draft day, and for one week, it all came together. Too bad that next draft day all he'll be envisioning is a computer screen and a keyboard as our Auction Bitch.
Robby is thankful for Peyton Manning. Because even at 4-8 and even with the Broncos shitting all over the Dolphins Defense, he can appreciate owning Peyton. If you've never had the experience, I highly recommend it. It is so goddamn fun.
Maine is thankful for the end of false hope. After this week's loss to the Falafel Menace, his playoff hopes are finally 100% extinguished. He has been put out of his misery. (Tangent: What is the opposite of false hope? You know, when you've honestly and completely given up on winning in a week because you only have 1 player left and you're down way way too much to come back and you don't even pay attention to the Monday Night Game and find out the next morning your guy went ape shit and you somehow won? So what do you call that? Anti-Despair? Reality Reversal? False Hopelessness? We need a name for this...)
Thong is thankful for AJ Green's health and to still be alive in the playoff chase, despite losing two in a row. His roller coaster of a season continues. He is also thankful for that funny feeling in his pants.
Bradley is thankful for...um...um...Caleb Sturgis?
Steve is thankful for Odell Beckham. Sure, Beckham isn't on his fantasy team. And sure, the Giants ultimately lost the game. But for one shining moment, all was right with the world. That catch was a thing of majesty - as beautiful as an Everest sunrise or a baby fawn being born.
Falafel is thankful for the return of Josh Gordon and his team peaking at the right time. I think everyone, including me, is scared to face him in the playoffs. His team is just that good.
I am thankful for my running backs and not having to travel for Thanksgiving. Also porn.
Mike Frank is thankful for clinching a winning record this week. Even if he hasn't officially secured a playoff spot yet, he's guaranteed to finish above .500 for the first time in recorded history (not fact checked). To celebrate, he's going to eat 501 pounds of turkey and drink 501 liters of gravy.
Sean is thankful to be in first place with a stacked team. Other than Falafel's squad, this is clearly the team to beat. (Though he's still holding onto Vernon Davis for some unknown reason.) Sean is also thankful for the few remaining hairs on his head.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
- The Commish
