After completely dominant wins on Saturday by Universities Miami, Virginia, and Florida, everyone was no-doubt feeling chipper and optimistic going into Sunday's NFL action. There was no queasy feelings, no foreboding emotions, no tingling in the back of our lizard brains. There was no chance everything would go straight to hell in a hand basket. There was no chance all of our hopes and dreams would be dashed after only Week 2. There was no chance of a sadness-bowl of penalties, injuries, upsets, and failure. No...it was going to be a good Sunday...
And it was! *
(* Applies to Sean only.)
Onto the recap...
Fargo Woodchippers 118 Officer Octagon 79
Quarter-back hurt badly - check! No backup Quarterback - check! Star running back leaves with an ankle injury after 3 carries - check! Wide Receiver hurts his knee after a monster 1st half - check! Shit-ton of points left on the bench - check! Opponent's Wide Receiver raping your favorite team - check! Season over - checkmate! See everyone next year!
Winnebago Man 154 Frantic 114
No joy here either. This week Bradley was on the losing end of a high scoring matchup. And Robby can't even enjoy his early Chicken Bone dominance, what with the Dolphins imploding in Jacksonville and him having to root for the Patriots all year. (Though, take a look. His team is seriously stacked. Could we be on the verge of a Robby Renaissance? Is this the year of The Robby?)
Sausage King & Champ 115 Bacon on Chainwax 85
Everything's turning up Sausage. But really, who do you think you are - William & Mary? Pick a name and go with it dude.
Maine can always re-watch this to lift his spirits...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He7TnoCM7fo
Darth Falafel 133 Slurenity Now 127
Damn..we're never going to get any good Steve rants without some false hope. And he is without hope so far. His fantasy team and the Giants both starting 0-2 does not bode well for tricking him into caring about football this year. Gonna have to go with Steve "Classic" again. This time from Dec 15, 2009...
"This is fucking bullshit! I'm sorry, but I cannot accept Pretzel Boy in the playoffs and not me. I went from first to eliminated -- the worst collapse in fantasy history since probably whatever the fuck I did last year! And now I have to pretend that I'm interested in seeing Mazzlemuzzle against half of Strobby in the championship??? You know what? Fuck it -- I hope Michael wins again! You know what else I want? Ronnie Brown's fucking head on a platter. And I want to see Kurt Warner die. But really painfully -- like have him slowly being eaten away by a flesh eating virus as he is forced to watch Greg Louganis and Lance Bass in a three way around the world with Adam Lambert!!! I hope that mother fucker gets hit by a bus full of retarded schoolkids."
European Swallows 124 House of Thongs 71
Wow...Carson Palmer was the only dude that showed up at all for Rich in Week 2. It's hard to get no touchdowns at all from your other skill players, but he somehow managed it. ... Meanwhile, I'm not sure I can deal with the next few months of my brother and Robby dominating this league. Good thing they are playing each other in Week 3.
Peace out,
- The Commish
