Howdy folks,
Well, that wraps up the regular season in especially nerve-wracking
fashion! How about a super quick recap,
you say? Sure, why the hell not!
Commish beats Maine
by 2, to secure 4th seed.
This one seemed like a no brainer going into Monday Night
Football. I was down 1.8 points to Maine. I had studly Brandin Cooks and needed a grand
total of 1 catch for 13 yards. THAT WAS
ALL I NEEDED TO MAKE THE PLAYOFFS. And
then the game apparently took place in the Upside Down, where Jay Cutler is
better than Tom Brady and the Dolphins defense is dominant. So instead of enjoying a highly satisfying beat-down
of the Patriots, I’m sweating it out until 2:24 left in the 4th
quarter before Cooks finally (finally!) makes a damn catch. But all’s
well that ends well. Unless you’re
Maine, I suppose. He watched Jonathan Stewart
go nuts on his bench, his boy Fitz do next-to-nothing, and Jimmy Graham put up
a goose egg for no reason whatsoever. It’s such a damn fine line between making the
playoffs and finishing 7th.
Brad loses bigly to
Mike Cole, falls to 5th and misses playoffs
Kamara got concussed early, Alex Smith’s magic wore off, Ryan
Succup Sucked, and Lamar Miller was Lamar Miller. All of that sealed Brad’s fate. Rough end to the season for Mazzle. Sorry dude.
Big Sean crushes Little
Steven, gets 3rd seed
Well, at least Steve had already lost before his Patriots
sucked last night. The lesson here is
draft from a bouncy house instead of drafting 36 players from the same
team. Man, if Sean wins again this year,
his draft approach would be the biggest “fuck you” move in the history of this
league. C’mon Thong – don’t let it happen!
Robby trounces Thong,
takes top seed
Will it matter? You
never can tell… But I'd rather be playing me than Sean, I can tell you that much. Thong, however, remains the team to beat.
Falafel loses to
Pretzel Boy, wins 2018 Auction Bitch
Congrats Travis!!!
Got the google doc all warmed up for you!
Happy Hanukkah Everyone!
- The Commish
