Howdy Folks,
We are halfway through this wretched season (pipe down
Travis!), and there is less parity than there has been in years. There are 2 teams at the top, 4 teams at the
bottom, and 4 in the squishy middle. And
while things can change faster than Rich’s “transitioning process,” this is all
seeming pretty well sorted for 60% of us.
Also, forget about AIDS…Why the
Heck Do So Many Koalas Have Chlamydia?
Onto the recap…
107.67 | King Dong | 2-5-0 | 8th
98.86 | Queefer Sutherland| 4-3-0 | 5th
Thanks to half of Steve’s team being on bye and his poor
management, your trusty commish gets a much-needed win. Also, holy crap I need a running back! I may have made a few mistakes this
year. (Though I will note that Thomas
outscored Barkely for the third straight week since my trade with Brad). If anyone is looking for a WR and has any RB
depth (MFrank perhaps?), please step into my office before the trade
deadline.
163.89| Bacon Far From Home | 4-3-0 | 3rd
128.90 | Odd Week Snausages |4-3-0 | 4th
In a stunning turn of events, Sean gets 3 TDs out of Sony
Michel on Monday Night Football, scores the second most points in the league
this week… and only loses by 35 points. Maine’s
Raider players both come up big, Dalvin Cook continues to do Dalvin Cook-like
things, and Lamar Jackson must be super fun to own. Maine
is definitely looking to join Brad and Travis in the upper echelon. Having the
most points scored in the league will do that.
BUT…. He is facing a hard truth right now….is it time to put Larry
Fitzgerald out to pasture? It’s a tough call
after all these years, but Fitz looks like he has less left in the tank than
Sean has hair on his head.
123.19 | Rise of Falafel |6-1-0 | 1st
79.74 |Stone Cold Crazy | 6-1-0 | 2nd
We all saw this one coming.
Mazzle has been doing it with smoke and mirrors, and he also has been
getting lucky in fantasy football this season.
Despite being undefeated, he was a big underdog to Falafel and that’s how
this one played out. It didn’t help that
David Johnson lasted about six seconds into the game and Chase Edmonds got all
the (bench) points. But even without Chris
McC, Travis took his rightful place at the top of the league. All hail King Falafel!!! May his reign be long, benevolent, and
fruitful!!!
80.16 | Thong Stay Woke |4-3-0 | 6th
79.67 |Mr. Numbers | 2-5-0 | 7th
Oy. Daniel Jones over
Aaron Rodgers. This one was really sloppy
and low scoring, and Mike Frank almost came back to win thanks to the Pats
Defense on Monday Night. But oy. Daniel Jones over Aaron Rodgers. Oy!
OK, I know this is unprecedented and completely against the
current rules, but can we all vote to take away Mike Frank’s trophy for a
while? Put it in escrow or something until
Travis wins the championship? After a
decision like that, I’m just not sure if he should be representing the league
as our champion. It’s embarrassing…
75.13 | Rabbit of Caebannog | 2-5-0 | 9th
93.97 |Extra Billy | 1-6-0 | 10th
So, at 1:43 pm on Sunday, I get this angry text from my
esteemed brother:
Wow, is there nobody in this league that has their
shit together this season? Michael really
could have used those fat 0.9 points from Montgomery. Sheesh.
… On the flip side of things,
Robby gets Tyreek Hill and Todd Gurley back from injury, his first win of the
season, and some hope of not being the Auction Bitch. But Mahomes goes down with a busted kneecap,
because Robby just can’t have nice things...
That’s all folks.
- The Commish
