Congrats again to Robby for taking home his first ever Chicken Bone Cup in convincing fashion, with a record number of points scored in a title game. (And totally crazy that if he started Miles Gaskin at Flex, he would have scored 216.60 points, which would have been a record for any week.)
Let's wrap up this dumpster fire of a year and hand out some anticlimactic awards...
Best Team Name:
Wolf Nipple Chips. I dunno...something about it.
Worst Team Name:
#Pencefly. I mean, get over it. It was just a fly dude.
Best Draft Picks:
Robby, hands down. If he was ever going to win this thing, it was going to be because hit the lottery draft day. Aaron Rodgers for 3 bucks, Stefon Diggs for 10 bucks. That'll do pig. That'll do.
Worst Draft Picks:
Steve, probably.
Best Retired Nickname:
Strobby
Worst New Nickname:
Staine? Maven?
Best Runner-Up:
Maine, who ran into Robby's team of destiny. He deserved better, and should be absolved of paying any 2020 taxes.
Worst Runner-Up:
Sean, who parlayed a #1 seed into a 4th place finish, courtesy of his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Richard Spady Memorial Winner of the Jean Shorts:
Thong, natch.
Worst Trade:
The Commish, who traded Jacobs, Woods, and Jefferson to Steve for magic beans (aka busted Kittle and McCaffrey).
Best Luck:
Also the Commish, who could never seem to get his shit together this season and still ended up with a 2 seed and an idiotically dropped Tony Pollard from winning it all.
Worst Luck:
Though Mike Cole will contest this decision, the hands-down answer here is Thong. He was the best team in the league and scored the most total points, but not only missed the playoffs but ended up finishing a lowly 7th! That sucks dude.
The Mike Frank Memorial 7-7 Award For Mediocrity:
Mike Frank, who finished 7-7.
Worst Team Ever:
Falafel. Stinky!!! How he's not auction bitch, I'll never know.
Best COVID Beard:
Maine
Worst COVID Beard:
Thong, aka Big Red
Mr. Irrelevant:
Mazzle. After winning it all in 2019, was he even in the league this year?
Worst Poster of the Year:
The Commish, who couldn't get his shit together with regular recaps either. He promises to do better next year.
Poster of the Year:
This was close, but let's baldly call it a tie between Maine and Sean, who both equally roused rabble this year. Congrats guys! I hope this makes up for losing in the playoffs!!!
I hope everyone has a happy new year, the Dolphins make the playoffs, and we can all see each other in person for Draft Weekend 2021.
Cheers,
- The Commish
