Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Week 2 Recap

 Howdy folks!


A day late, and a dollar short, but here's the fraction-less Week 2 recap...


Commish 145 - Falafel 96

Falafel's season has started the same way his mom likes it in bed - Rough!   Also, 0 and 2?  Josh Allen has regressed, George Kittle has looked ordinary, and Joe Mixon's foot is hanging by a loose tendon.  

Meanwhile, in your Mediocre Wide Receiver Update of the Week, your trusty commish once again started 2 out of 3 wrong wideouts.  (But when the other one is Cooper Kupp, that makes up for a multitude of management sins.)   Anyone want to trade me a WR2?  


Maine 164 - Thong 128

As the Packers go, so does Maine's team.  This will be a major storyline to watch as the season progresses.  His 4 Packers players went from 0.8 combined points in Week 1 to 85.09.  That's a week-to-week increase of 10636.25%!  That is hard to do!  .. In other Maine news, he is taking the aggressive FAAB strategy to the extreme, bidding loads of cash on unproven mediocrities, and only has a pittance left to spend for the whole season.  I fully expect him to spend his last $14 on the ghost of Dennis Northcutt, somehow.

Thong put up a respectable total this week, but still leads the early race for Auction Bitch.  He has spent $0 of his FAAB budget and might not realize he has any money to spend.  There's a 30% chance he still has $100 left at the end of the season, and a 10% chance he thinks FAAB stands for "Free As A Bird".  


Extra Billy 153 - Mazzle 90  

Even when casually referring to Robby now, he's just "Extra Billy." He may never change his team name again.  His stars - Mahomes, Thielen, Henry(!), and Kelce - came out to play big-time in Week 2, and he bounced back with a huge win.  Also Gronk good!  Gronk no need watch game film!  Gronk catch balls from best friend Tommy! Gronk catch 2 scores again!  Gronk make man justify start two Tight End!    Grooooonnnnnk!  

Oh, and to his surprise, Mazzle is also in this league.

Also Happy Birthday!!

Sausage 125 - Steve 109

When 6 out of 9 other teams in the league would have beaten you, can you really bemoan your bad luck at getting "continuously outscored"?  That's like the NY Giants complaining that they got outscored by the Washington Football Team.  Technically that's true, but also, technically, that's just called losing.  

Also, Sausage got Tom Brady for $1 at the draft.  What the hell are we doing here people!?  


Mike Frank 131 - Mike Cole 94

In the first Mike-Bowl of the season, it was Frank coming out ahead of Cole, thanks to pretty consistent play across the board that somehow added up to 131, but looking at his players' scores,  I'm not really seeing it.  Looks more like 109 to me.  But that still would have been enough to beat Mike Cole, who like the Miami Dolphins, came crashing back to earth in Week 2.  



Cheers bitches!
- The Commish