You want a recap, here’s your fucking recap . . .
Forman’s Grillers 105.04 – Seeking Help 79.64
Grillers end their three game slide and solidify their bid for a playoff spot. On the flip side, Mazzle drops to .500 and now has to fight tooth and nail for a chance to choke in the playoffs once again. It’s a little known fact that fighting tooth and nail is literally biting and scratching. Seems like a way only a pussy would fight. I would say that’s about right for Mazzle.
Enter the Falafel 120.67 – Sayonara 82.26
Falafel gets at least 3 TDs from McNabb, Jones-Drew, and T. Jones. Now at 5-5 Falafel is like his gay pirate football team, sitting with false hope that somehow things will all fall into place. Sooner or later reality will set in for both teams and he will realize that he won’t make the playoffs in this league and his wahoos will be going to the Humanitarian Bowl instead of an ACC Championship game. At least he has no false hope in his Lions this year. As for Steve, at least he has his Giants and Gators because we both know that they are for sure going to win championships. So the question is how many years does Steve have left before Satan comes for his soul? Seriously, back to back basketball titles for the gators, a football national championship, Heisman trophy winner, Super bowl victory for the Giants and a Lakers final appearance. And here’s the clincher, a sane, attractive, woman who actually is not nauseated by Steve. I say we might need to start claiming Steve’s stuff in the next year or two.
Achy Shipmaster 80.69 – Sweeney Wrong 65.14
Achy wins! Achy wins! In his first game after trading away the number one pick, LDT, the shipmaster wins. You can just feel things turning around for Achy now that that the cancerous LDT is not infecting the rest of the team. What an amazing, intelligent move by the Shipmaster in trading LDT and cutting Kevin Walter for Jacobs and Holmes. That sharp thinking showed in Jacobs and Holmes outscoring LDT and Walter by .8 points. And folks, that’s why he is closer to pulling himself out of the cellar. Or maybe it’s because he played only one of two teams that he could mathematically have beaten this week. 65 points and a loss to Robby, for shame Thong.
Lords of Bacon 92.24 – KC Stick 85.83
As the commish pointed out last week in his recap, Maine was “done.” “Cooked.” Yet somehow Maine found a way to beat the commish and knock him from his perch atop the league. More to come on that topic. Maine was not intimidated by LDT and his 70 rushing yard average per game. Or by LDT’s 4 rushing touchdowns on the season, the same number or TDs that T.J. Duckett, Sammy Morris, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, and Michael Pittman all have. Good thing the commish didn’t trade away a running back that can actually find the end zone (without a hooker holding up a neon sign) to get LDT because that would have been really stupid. And as far as “Mr. Almost”, he is now back in the playoff picture being only one game back.
I Flunked Flank 95.67 – A league of his own 86.90
Ladies and gentlemen (and Steve), we have a new leader in the clubhouse. Yours truly is back in first place thanks to 477 yards and 3 tds in the 4th quarter from Jay Cutler. The loss most surely will cost the Morons any chance of making the playoffs while the win almost locks up a playoff spot for me.
Don’t forget that the trade deadline is this Friday. Enjoy the week and the view from below.
-I Flunked Flank
