Week 12 Recap

Gobble Gobble my mofos! Your trusty recap is back is business this week with a Thanksgiving edition sure to knock your giblets off. With only two weeks to go in the regular season, the playoff picture is still at its wackiest. The Super Cole Bros are in easy like Wheezy, with only seeding at stake for them. Also at steak for them: Sirloin. Meanwhile, the Sausage Grillers are looking strong too, controlling their own destiny if not their own wife. Then there is the elusive 4-spot, which some say is even more elusive than the G-spot (both have eluded Robby for years). Bradley Mazzle is in the driver's seat, but the Law Firm of Bacon and Thong are hot on his ass. But the question for today: is past prologue? Perhaps the recap will have the answers...




Chief of Staff 111.88 - Very Very Close To As Bad As Robby 81.65
At least there was some silver lining in seeing Randell Gene Moss rip my beloved Dolphins a new hole - he also ripped Steve a new hole at the same time. (Now Steve has four and a half total holes.) Even a ham sammich wouldn't have saved him this week. Perhaps a turkey sammich? But what does this all mean for your handsome and talented Commish, you ask? Same as it ever was: First Place.

Lords of Bacon 121.50 - Exactly As Bad As Robby 51.78
Scratching and clawing back to life, like a zombified turkey, Maine wins his third game in a row to get back to five hundge and a legit shot at playoff glory. The Bacon Lords took full advantage of their soft matchup against the Fightin Friedmans, putting up the high score of the week thanks to Michael Turner once again going completely turkey shit. But I'm calling it out right here and now - Maine misses the playoffs. He will lose one of the last two weeks to finish at 7-7 and in 5th place, bitterly clinging to his guns, religion, and porn stash. Also gravy.

Sweeney Thong 80.21 - I Flunked Spanish 53.41
Speaking of comebacks, lets not forget The Man With the Golden Thong! Winner of 2 in a row and also back at five hundge, the Thong Man still has a big shot at the playoffs, especially with a de facto elimination game against Mazzle this coming week. With Tony Romo back at full strength, Thong destroyed the unimpressive Brother Cole, who save for the fist three weeks of the season, ain't all that. (That = Good) Also, BrotherCole likes the dark meat. And I don't mean turkey.

Seek & Destroy 80.34 - White Chocolate Falafel 54.25
Mazzle takes care of bidness on Monday night to keep himself in the playoff lead. But the big story here is the fall of Falafel. You can officially stick a fork in him, as he couldn't be more done. Even false hope can't save him now. Everyone can now feel free to laugh at him and his fantasy football ineptitude. Ha! Hahaha! (Also, he will gladly trade you Donovan McNabb's arm and Brian Westbrook's knee for a turkey leg and a side of stale stuffing.)

Forman's Grillers 96.82 - Moron 85.39
Big win for the Sausage King! Knocks MFrank out of the playoff chase! Turkey!


Happy Thanksgiving!
- The Commish