It was a rare good sports weekend for your beloved commish. The Dolphins didn't lose. UVA didn't lose. And the Braves didn't lose. And therefore, I didn't crawl into the fetal position crying until Monday night when Megatron reminded me that all good things must come to an end. Onto to the recap...
The Electric Bacon 86.06 Major Blowhard 77.74
It's electric!! (boogie woogie woogie!) Thanks to precisely two long plays on Monday night, Maine completed his predicted comeback and summarily defeated your beloved but over-matched commissioner.
Fun Fact #1: Maine's first place starting lineup is made up of 50% Packers and Lions, which are not coincidentally the only two undefeated teams in the NFL.
Fun Fact #2: I had a dream last night where Maine and I took on Satan and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in a 2-on-2 pickup basketball game. Not sure what that means.
A Tiger in Africa? 110.50 Falafel 1st Class 90.15
As far as comeuppances go, it could have been worse. Falafel still put up 90 points, still got to watch his Lions win on Monday night, and still got that blumpkin from Rich's mom. So all in all, not too bad despite the loss to the evil empire. Speaking of which, Evil Brother Cole's win vaults him smack in the middle of the playoff picture again. At this point, he is the Duke of this league, which is probably the worst team I could possibly compare him to.
Motherfucker Jones 65.59 Stupid Yard Marker 57.36
In the B-division, Stevie eked out a low scoring victory against Seanie. We've covered Sean's injury ridden bunch already (this week's victim: Legarrette Blount), but not enough attention has been given to the sham of the mockery that is Steve's "team." He doesn't have a single reliable Wide Receiver now that Andre Johnson is hurt, his quarterback is going to separate his shoulder any day now picking up a carton of milk, his tight end is now going to be splitting time with his brother, and other things that I'm just making up. He is the New York Giants of the league and his Seattle Seahawks are coming next week in the form of Captain Amerithong. And to add insult to injury, he hasn't even been able to get out to the sports bar to watch games the last 3 weeks because it's been drizzling a lot near his apartment.
FrayedEndsofSanity 86.93 The Goy's Teeth 66.36
Bradley on the board!!! Mike Frank stumbles!!! Nobody cares!!!
Captain Amerithong 96.71 The Choot Spas 90.49
And in an unlikely high-scoring affair, the Thong of the East beats the Jew of the South, thanks to the efforts of some player I'm too lazy too even look at. Even so, it's a "Nice" win for Captain Amerithong, who is coincidentally lounging in the South of France right now. And speaking of Captain America, I just caught the trailer for the Avengers movie, and I got a semi-chub. It looks freakin awesome!!! In other news, I'm a huge geek!
Toodles,
- The Commish
