Thanks to everyone for another festive season. There’s not much to be said about the playoffs this year that hasn’t already been said, thought, tweeted, or tattooed on Travis’s mom’s ass.
The Cole Brothers are full of regret. Michael for trading me Chris Johnson, which was the sole difference in him not winning another championship. And me for not outbidding Rich for Matt Ryan at the draft; and then leaving Flacco on my bench yesterday. But we both got beat fair and square.
Steve-O, on the other hand, rues nothing! He brought his A-game this year. Sometimes you just lay a turd in the playoffs. So no regrets there. Just a new source of bitterness.
Finally, congrats to you Thong!!! If someone had to win it besides me, I would have wanted it to be Steve. And then Mike Frank. But after them, totally you. Enjoy the Chicken Bone Cup on your mantel – hope you can get the Falafel smell out.
Oh, and Mike Frank takes the Jean Shorts!!! I think a picture of him wearing them should be his team avatar next season.
Let’s close the book on this season with a few awards:
Best Team Name: Thongmetheus – Even his team name was good this year.
Worst Team Name: (tie.) Duck Butter and Larry’s Homework. C’mon guys – let’s put a little more effort into team names next year.
Most Underpaid: RGIII, $2, Maine
Sean Forman Memorial Most Overpaid: Matt Stafford, $32, Sean Forman
Best Message Board Quote: "15 fucking weeks for nothing. You can all suck a lizard's dick. I'm rooting for Thong (in more ways than one). Seacrest out, fuckers!” - Steve
Worst Message Board Quote: "Fuck My Life" – Falafel AND Steve
Best Luck: Brother Cole (11th year in a row)
Worst Luck: Is there any doubt on this one? Robby Feldman, in a unanimous decision.
Best Trade: Commish trading Stevan Ridley for Chris Johnson
Worst Trade: Maine trading Jamaal Charles for 2 Kickers.
Best Waiver Wire Pickup: Knowshon Moreno, Commish
Worst Waiver Wire Pickup: Your Moms
Dennis Northcutt Memorial Worst Waiver Wire Pickup: Brandon Myers, multiple people
Waiver Wire Champ: The winner and still champion – Steve! He had to come from behind to win it. Also pick up a lot of dudes. And also make a lot of transactions.
Waiver Wire Chump: Robby, who checked out faster than his wife during sex.
Best Hair and Makeup: Bradley
Post of the Year: Commish, Week 8 Recap
Poster of the Year: Giving this award for quantity, not quality this year. You could stop Falafel from winning again, but you could not contain the douchiness. He was all over the board this year, with inane post after inane post. So congrats! (Or something!)
Mr Irrelevant: Maine
Peace Out and Merry New Year!!!
- The Commish
