Dear Sirs and Madam (Steve),
No sense in talking about the league much. It's pretty cut and dry. Sean is D-U-N. BrotherCole and Steve are in pretty big holes, and not each others. And everyone else is jockeying for position with plenty of season left.
A lot of high losing scores this week though, so let's get recappin....
General Gonad 109.34 Falafelysium 106.47
Your beloved Commish ekes out a win over the hated Falafel. This one came down to Lamar Miller being light years better than Daniel Thomas on Monday Night Football. And the vaunted Miami Defense holding Jimmy Graham to a mere 100 Yds and 2 TDs. Way to not give up that 3rd TD!!
And now for some random musings about the Dolphins:
- Jonathan Martin is absolutely terrible and couldn't block a midget trying to rape his own mother.
- Their coaching staff, with the exception of not having a QB sneak on 3rd and inches in the playbook, is generally doing a pretty great job. Really.
- Nolan Carroll is terrible and couldn't cover scissors with two rocks.
- The Defense needs to get healthy, but even at full strength, they wouldn't have been able to cover both Sproles and Graham last night. Not sure how anyone does.
- Brent Grimes is both a pretty darn good defensive back and a tiny tiny man.
- Mike Wallace needs to DO SOMETHING.
- And finally, giving Jeff Ireland a contract extension is a travesty. He's still the worst person in the history of the world.
King Nothing 111.20 Tony Montana 101.06
In the Gator-bait match-up of the week, Steve is another hard-luck loser (and a soft-cock wiener!). This one came down to Victor Cruz being light years better than Hakeem Nicks. And Le'vo'nn' Bell coming back from injury to score 2 TD for Brad's squad. Alas, Brad wasn't watching football, but rather at his local cinema watching the new Metallica 3-D movie 4 times in a row on Sunday until he started bleeding from his ears and eyeballs.
In unrelated news, I've decided to nickname these two lovely owners "Stradley." That is all.
Folk Singin' Cat 128.52 Ray Rice Sucks 111.62
You know those must-win games in the NFL, where a once-proud team is winless and they throw everything but the kitchen sink at their opponent and give it everything they got, but come up short and recanyways? Am I talking about Sean's beloved Steelers? Or his fantasy team? Trick question - it's his hairline.
Meanwhile, Mr. F is in first place. Yeah, that'll last....
Trophy Thong 78.41 CrazyArseWhiteBoy 64.32
Now we get into the low scoring match-ups. Aaron Rodgers on bye will do that. I'd still rather have Robby's team than Thong's. Hang in there pal. It gets better.
Meanwhile, Thong is 3-1 and cruising toward back-to-back Chicken Bone Cups. The only thing that can stop him is his mediocre team.
Yes! Yes! Bacon! 87.11 Abby Normal 70.67
A Haiku, to commemorate Maine's 17 point win:
Antonio Gates!
Adrian Peterson rules!
Wither Brother Cole?
Peace Out Homies,
The Commish
