No preamble this week, let's go straight to the recap......
Officer Octagon 118 Falafel 83
Whether due to the start of bye weeks, or simply regression to the mean, the scores this week were way lower than last week. 118 was plenty for me to to get past Falafel's weak-ass showing of 83. And speaking of weak ass Falafel showings....
Bacon on Chainwax 99 Frantic 78
Fantasy is weird sometimes. One week after getting screwed over in the highest-points matchup of the whole season, Maine ends up winning by 21 points in the lowest-points matchup of the whole season. Guess karma evens out for those who pay backtaxes.
Fargo Woodchippers 114 Winnebago Man 99
With Gronk and Brady on bye, Robby suffers his first defeat of the season. Meanwhile, Mike Frank moves to 2-2 and is busy collecting mediocre quarterbacks. What's that you say? Tell you something you don't know? Nah, I'll let Winnebago Man do it...
Sausage King & Mary 140 House of Sad Thongs 113
Sean's team keeps rolling, but on the flip side, it's time for our first eulogy of the season. It's hard to believe, but Rich's fantasy team has already met its end. At 0-4, it's hard to imagine the Thong climbing out of this (butt)hole. It's a sad day for the Thong...
European Swallows 120 Slurenity Now 93
Sure, Steve's team is 1-3 and in 9th place. But how 'bout them Gators?!!! Undefeated and ranked in the Top 12 after crushing Ole Miss in the swamp!!! Now, I'm no gator fan, but I'm in favor of anything that will get Steve excited about football so that his high hopes and dreams can once again be dashed. But until the Gators choke against Missouri this weekend in some horrible fashion, I'll leave you with another round of "Classic Steve" from 2004....
"Look, you ignorant jackass, you're only up by 6 points with two weeks left and you're bound to make a stupid decision this week. Besides, there's no fucking way you can possibly win the poker title, the regular season title, and the playoff title all in one year! Hell will freeze over, monkeys will fly out of Robby's ass, dogs and cats will live together, and I'll kill a puppy before that happens!!! So just be content with winning two out of three and shut the hell up for the next 3 weeks
Oh yeah, and BLOW ME!!!"
Cheers,
- The Commish
