Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Week 10 Fake Recap (by Steve)
Ok, so I just remembered Jason asked me to guest host this week's recap.
Apparently he is too busy jerking off an Eskimo in Iceland to do this,
so you're stuck with me. Unfortunately, I didn't pay attention to what
happened this week and am too damn lazy to go back and look at the
scores. Also, I have no idea how to post this to the recap blog so I'll
trust that no one will read this and Jason will figure out a way to get
this on the blog.
So, I almost decided to just skip it, since no one reads this shit anyway. But then I realized that today marks a very special anniversary. No, not the day Travis lost his virginity to a Perkins waitress with three teeth. And, no, not the day I banged his Mom in the backseat of a 1976 Lincoln Continental on the way to a sit-in to protest women's suffrage. Nope...today is the day that one of my favorite Giant coke addicts of all time, Lawrence Taylor, snapped Joe Theismann's leg in half, giving rise to the naming of the Chicken Bone Cup!!! Yes, today my friends, is the day that made all of this possible.
So rather than recap this insanely ridiculous fantasy season in which every player known to man has snapped his Achilles, and in which Robby is running away with this whole friggin thing, I prefer to use this recap as a way to raise a glass to all of you. And to Larry and Joey for collaborating on that wonderful play so many years ago that brought us all together. When you pull that wishbone on Thanksgiving Day and make a wish, please also remember that Tibia/Fibula wishbone that Mr. Taylor broke apart 30 years ago today! And please pray that one of the Strobby brothers will defeat one of the Cole brothers in this year's championship! As that appears to be where this thing is heading, unless Pretzel Boy or Mr. Balding Wondernuts decides to make a late push for the Fourth Seed!
Enjoy your week, Happy Thanksgiving to you all!! And Travis, please remind your Mom to bring the bullwhip and the bottle of Macallen 18 this year to the Christmas Eve Key Party!!
Peace out, fucknuts!
So, I almost decided to just skip it, since no one reads this shit anyway. But then I realized that today marks a very special anniversary. No, not the day Travis lost his virginity to a Perkins waitress with three teeth. And, no, not the day I banged his Mom in the backseat of a 1976 Lincoln Continental on the way to a sit-in to protest women's suffrage. Nope...today is the day that one of my favorite Giant coke addicts of all time, Lawrence Taylor, snapped Joe Theismann's leg in half, giving rise to the naming of the Chicken Bone Cup!!! Yes, today my friends, is the day that made all of this possible.
So rather than recap this insanely ridiculous fantasy season in which every player known to man has snapped his Achilles, and in which Robby is running away with this whole friggin thing, I prefer to use this recap as a way to raise a glass to all of you. And to Larry and Joey for collaborating on that wonderful play so many years ago that brought us all together. When you pull that wishbone on Thanksgiving Day and make a wish, please also remember that Tibia/Fibula wishbone that Mr. Taylor broke apart 30 years ago today! And please pray that one of the Strobby brothers will defeat one of the Cole brothers in this year's championship! As that appears to be where this thing is heading, unless Pretzel Boy or Mr. Balding Wondernuts decides to make a late push for the Fourth Seed!
Enjoy your week, Happy Thanksgiving to you all!! And Travis, please remind your Mom to bring the bullwhip and the bottle of Macallen 18 this year to the Christmas Eve Key Party!!
Peace out, fucknuts!
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Week 8 - Power Rankings
Hi folks,
Let's do something different this week. How about some power rankings? (I'll remind you to pay close attention to these, as I occasionally get it right.)
10. Darth Falafel
He's in a complete free fall, having lost 5 in a row. He's got a paper thin roster behind an underachieving Aaron Rodgers. And in a must win week, he pinned all his hopes on Tedd Ginn and Ted Ginn's family. Enough said.
9. Frantic
Bradley's team is a total shit-show. Total. Shit. Show. Seriously, look at that mangled, deformed thing he calls a roster. He's going to have to bust his ass not to be next year's Auction Bitch.
8. House Thong
In recent weeks, Thong has gone from totally incompetent to merely lousy. At 2-6, you can still write him off, but he has a chance to play spoiler during the last six weeks, as he attempts to earn a spot in the consolation bracket. Those jean shorts are still achievable dude! Live your dream!
7. Fargo Woodchippers
Wow, that was a bad week. Not only did he lose to a team only scoring 75 points, but he also lost Le'Veon Bell for the season. The only reason Mike Frank is ranked this high, is that he's 4-4 and destined to finish 7-7 no matter what he does. He should change his team name to "Mediocre Inertia."
6. Sausage King &
Sean lost this week despite getting 7 TDs and 45 points out of Brees. If that isn't an indictment of the rest of his roster, I'm not sure what is. After 3 straight losses, it looks like his title defense is going the way of his hair.
5. Bacon on Chainwax
OK, now we move into the Varsity part of the rankings, where the teams have a chance in hell of winning it all. And after 2 wins in a row, "Chance-in-hell" is Maine's middle name. His roster is looking kinda feisty right now, with Kelce as a high-end TE, Charcandrick running like the real deal, Oakland's passing game looking legit, and two viable quarterbacks to incorrectly choose from on a weekly basis. Don't sleep on Maine.
4. European Swallows
Sure, he only scored 75 points this week. But he's still 5-3 and has a lot of players on the upswing, including one Antonio Brown who is about to go off. He's got some depth on that bad boy too. No telling what he might do down the stretch.
3. Officer Octagon
Not sure what I really have with this squad. Sure I have the most points scored in the league so far, but it's all seems like it's teetering on the edge of disaster every week. I just have a bad feeling about this....
2. Soy un Steve
Looking like the team to beat a couple weeks ago, Steve has lost Arian Foster and Steve Smith to season-ending injuries. He's still got a formidable roster, just not as much depth to spare. Also, he's liable to make all the wrong pitching decisions and lose most of his games in the 9th inning. (Disclaimer: some of these statements may apply only to the New York Mets.)
1. Winnebago Man
And here is your number one team in the power rankings. The Brady to Gronk combo is devastating. Adrian Peterson is looking like his old self. Jarvis Landry is a PPR monster. Doug Martin is looking rejuvenated. And there are no more coaches of his teams left to fire. So there you go....Robby (Robby!) is officially the team to beat.
- The Commish
Let's do something different this week. How about some power rankings? (I'll remind you to pay close attention to these, as I occasionally get it right.)
10. Darth Falafel
He's in a complete free fall, having lost 5 in a row. He's got a paper thin roster behind an underachieving Aaron Rodgers. And in a must win week, he pinned all his hopes on Tedd Ginn and Ted Ginn's family. Enough said.
9. Frantic
Bradley's team is a total shit-show. Total. Shit. Show. Seriously, look at that mangled, deformed thing he calls a roster. He's going to have to bust his ass not to be next year's Auction Bitch.
8. House Thong
In recent weeks, Thong has gone from totally incompetent to merely lousy. At 2-6, you can still write him off, but he has a chance to play spoiler during the last six weeks, as he attempts to earn a spot in the consolation bracket. Those jean shorts are still achievable dude! Live your dream!
7. Fargo Woodchippers
Wow, that was a bad week. Not only did he lose to a team only scoring 75 points, but he also lost Le'Veon Bell for the season. The only reason Mike Frank is ranked this high, is that he's 4-4 and destined to finish 7-7 no matter what he does. He should change his team name to "Mediocre Inertia."
6. Sausage King &
Sean lost this week despite getting 7 TDs and 45 points out of Brees. If that isn't an indictment of the rest of his roster, I'm not sure what is. After 3 straight losses, it looks like his title defense is going the way of his hair.
5. Bacon on Chainwax
OK, now we move into the Varsity part of the rankings, where the teams have a chance in hell of winning it all. And after 2 wins in a row, "Chance-in-hell" is Maine's middle name. His roster is looking kinda feisty right now, with Kelce as a high-end TE, Charcandrick running like the real deal, Oakland's passing game looking legit, and two viable quarterbacks to incorrectly choose from on a weekly basis. Don't sleep on Maine.
4. European Swallows
Sure, he only scored 75 points this week. But he's still 5-3 and has a lot of players on the upswing, including one Antonio Brown who is about to go off. He's got some depth on that bad boy too. No telling what he might do down the stretch.
3. Officer Octagon
Not sure what I really have with this squad. Sure I have the most points scored in the league so far, but it's all seems like it's teetering on the edge of disaster every week. I just have a bad feeling about this....
2. Soy un Steve
Looking like the team to beat a couple weeks ago, Steve has lost Arian Foster and Steve Smith to season-ending injuries. He's still got a formidable roster, just not as much depth to spare. Also, he's liable to make all the wrong pitching decisions and lose most of his games in the 9th inning. (Disclaimer: some of these statements may apply only to the New York Mets.)
1. Winnebago Man
And here is your number one team in the power rankings. The Brady to Gronk combo is devastating. Adrian Peterson is looking like his old self. Jarvis Landry is a PPR monster. Doug Martin is looking rejuvenated. And there are no more coaches of his teams left to fire. So there you go....Robby (Robby!) is officially the team to beat.
- The Commish
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Week 7 Recap
Hi folks,
Hey now! Halfway through the season, this league is tighter than a frogs twat! There is less distribution than the first season of Breaking Bad! These records are closer than...um...things that are really close. .. In other news, this is my seventh recap in a row, which has to be some sort of record. I'm running on fumes here people! Plus I'm still drunk from all those weekend Mole Day parties. So you might not be getting my best effort here... That being said, let's do this thing...
Steve 134 Commish 119
Well shit. I knew I didn't want to play Steve this week. Couldn't Arian Foster tear all his joints in the first quarter instead of the fourth? Irregardless, with his fantasy team rolling, the Gators having a surprisingly good season, and the Mets in the World Series, everything is coming up Steven. He is feelin good. Meanwhile, I'm going to go put in a waiver claim for Alfred Blue now...
Hey now! Halfway through the season, this league is tighter than a frogs twat! There is less distribution than the first season of Breaking Bad! These records are closer than...um...things that are really close. .. In other news, this is my seventh recap in a row, which has to be some sort of record. I'm running on fumes here people! Plus I'm still drunk from all those weekend Mole Day parties. So you might not be getting my best effort here... That being said, let's do this thing...
Steve 134 Commish 119
Well shit. I knew I didn't want to play Steve this week. Couldn't Arian Foster tear all his joints in the first quarter instead of the fourth? Irregardless, with his fantasy team rolling, the Gators having a surprisingly good season, and the Mets in the World Series, everything is coming up Steven. He is feelin good. Meanwhile, I'm going to go put in a waiver claim for Alfred Blue now...
Mike Cole Swallows Cum Then Europeans His Mouth 117 Bradley's Nightmare 98
A few random observations after an ugly Mike Cole win that I don't feel like writing about...
- Jimmy Graham has really been up and down this year.
- I'm tired of seeing C. Johnson in the box scores and having to take the extra 4 seconds to figure out which one it is.
- LeGarrette Blount might be the most frustrating guy in the league to own.
- Speaking of blunts, Delane Walker is being passed around the league like pot at Snoop's house. Need a Bye week TE fill in, he's your guy!
Thongs 140 Woodchippers 120
Once again, Thong decides to start all 10 players and once again he walks away with a victory. I think he might be onto something here. Also a big game from TY. Mike Frank slips to 4-3 and will no doubt finish 7-7...blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda... There's something to be said for consistency I suppose. Mike Frank is also a Mets fan. If they win the World Series, he is planning on having a 4-way with Steve, Daniel Murphy, and Mr. Met.
Bacon 107 Falafel 104
In the battle of 2-4 teams, Bacon comes out on top by giving Falafel cancer.
Robby! 170 Sausage Queen 85
In the total beat-down of the week, Robby doubles up Sean to take over sole possession of first place. Thanks to the Pats and the Dolphins, this one was over by about 2:30 on Sunday. Damn, lucky Robby... That almost makes up for The Terps, The Canes, and the Fins all firing their head coaches in the middle of the season. That is nuts. Damn, poor Robby...
Whew I'm Spent,
The Commish
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Week 6 Recap
Hi folks!! Happy Tuesday!!
Lots of dirt to dish this week to lets go straight to the recap...
Officer Jason 147 Mike Cole Swallows 126
A respectable showing from The Swallows, but just not enough this week. He really misses Ben Roethlisberger. A couple notes on my team, who despite my 4 wins in a row, is starting to show some cracks:
House of Rich 139 Frantic Bradley 103
A Thong sighting! With help from the returning Alshon Jeffrey, Rich is on the board with his first win of the year. He decided to go with the controversial strategy of setting his lineup and not playing anyone on bye or inactive. And it paid off handsomely! Go figure!
Fargo Franks 109 Darth Travis 99
A ten point win for the second week in a row, the Fightin Franks move to two games over .500. That won't last. Meanwhile, Falafel tears up his ACL playing "basketball" and not - as has been rumored in the press - at an orgy at Rob Gronkowski's house.
Lots of dirt to dish this week to lets go straight to the recap...
Officer Jason 147 Mike Cole Swallows 126
A respectable showing from The Swallows, but just not enough this week. He really misses Ben Roethlisberger. A couple notes on my team, who despite my 4 wins in a row, is starting to show some cracks:
- When did Eddie Lacy decide to suck? Did I miss a meeting? What the hell, man!?!
- Every year I tell myself I'm not going to end up with a Patriots running back because their usage is too unpredictable, and every year I end up with two.
- One of these weeks I'll figure out when to start DeMarco Murray. This was not that week.
- I'd sure like Anquan Boldin back about now. Can we institute 1 free player take back a year?
- On my roster is a Brandon, a Brandon, and Brandin.
- On my roster is a DeMarco, a Devonta, and a Demaryius.
House of Rich 139 Frantic Bradley 103
A Thong sighting! With help from the returning Alshon Jeffrey, Rich is on the board with his first win of the year. He decided to go with the controversial strategy of setting his lineup and not playing anyone on bye or inactive. And it paid off handsomely! Go figure!
Fargo Franks 109 Darth Travis 99
A ten point win for the second week in a row, the Fightin Franks move to two games over .500. That won't last. Meanwhile, Falafel tears up his ACL playing "basketball" and not - as has been rumored in the press - at an orgy at Rob Gronkowski's house.
Winnebago Robby 113 Maine Bacon 90
Robby gets back to his winning ways with help from Lamar Miller of all people. Meanwhile, Maine's running backs consist of 150-year-old Frank Gore, Melvin "0.90 points" Gordon, somebody named "Charcandrick," and 17 crappy Giants running backs. He should have stuck with his old strategy of overpaying for kickers at the draft. At least that way, he couldn't be too disappointed. Even with Andrew Luck back, this season is deteriorating rapidly for Maine. Also, "Rapidly Deteriorating Bacon" would be a great team name.
Loser Steve 175 Bigger Loser Sean Sausage 135
In the well-deserved beat-down of the week, Sean finally suffers some comeuppance for his antics of the past few weeks. About damn time someone took that motherfucker down!!! And speaking of comeuppance, Steve is coming up strong. His roster is stacked and only getting stacked-er. I do not want to play his team any time soon. Wait, what's that? Oh.
- The Commish
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Week 5 Recap
Hey Folks,
Parity. That's the name of the game in Chicken Bone so far this year. Eight out of the ten teams in the league are either 2-3 or 3-2. (We'll get to the other two later.) That means every game counts for everyone in ways we couldn't have even imagined in our wildest imaginations before the season started. One misplaced kicker could make or break your season. One wrong choice at FLEX and you're on the next train to Jeanshortsville. So keep your wits about you, work the waiver wire, and - if you can somehow stomach it - make a trade with Mike Cole. (You gotta do what you gotta do...)
Recap ho...
Octagon 127 Thong 72
It's amazing that between Alshon Jeffrey, Marshawn Lynch, and Jordan Cameron, they didn't manage a single point this past week. Not one! I mean, Rich spent a lot of money at auction on them and they are all hugely talented guys. Nobody could have suspected they score zero points TOTAL. Who would have guessed THAT? Nobody could fault Rich for ignoring his lineup with those guys in there. I mean, sure, Jeffrey and Lynch were both inactive on Sunday and Cameron was on bye. But that's no reason to resort to the drastic move of benching them! Even despite those handicaps, Rich had all the confidence in the world that they would produce, and you have to give him credit for sticking by his guys even with an 0-4 (now 0-5) record. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you hope....
Frantic 107 Falafel 105
This one was closer than two catfish in a skillet. If one of the catfish just beat by two points and lost Jamal Charles for the season. And if the other catfish is Brad.
Fargo 112 Bacon 102
At some point this season we're going to have to come up with the Maine Levels Of Losing. I think this one probably ranked a 13 out of 10. Because it was a dog fight right up until the very end. If Mike Vick just QB-sneaked (snuck? snucked?) it into the end zone on the last play of the whole damn week, Maine would have won. Instead, the Steelers made the asinine play call of running Le'Veon Bell out of the Wildcat and wasting all 5 seconds of game-clock even though they had a timeout. Ridiculous. I couldn't fall asleep for an hour after that shit, and I didn't even have a dog in the fight. I couldn't even imagine how Maine must have felt.
Sausage 132 Swallows 123
OK. At some point we're going to have to take this smug asshole down a peg. First he comes in here and takes our Chicken Bone Cup. This season he's 4-1 and in first place and won't stop shit talking. And now he's all up bragging on our message board and trying to tell us the rules of our league!?! Well fuck that guy! I'm sick of his shit. I hope Steve kicks his ever-loving ass this weekend and DeAndre Hopkins gets his leg mangled by a beagle.
Perdedor 140 Winnebago 118
So in this matchup Robby's team....sigh...wait...No. NO. I. CAN'T. EVEN. I'm still too fired up about Sausage King and his antics around here lately. Goddammmit!!! He's like the Terrell Owens of our league...always trying to start shit with somebody. And the arrogance!!! They guys wins one lucky championship and suddenly he's "best fantasy owner of all time." And that is a direct quote from his blog. You should see what he writes on there. Especially about Steve. It's even worse that what he puts on our message board. Please, for the love of all that's good in the world, will somebody please beat this bald asshole??? I just can't deal with him anymore...
- The Commish
Parity. That's the name of the game in Chicken Bone so far this year. Eight out of the ten teams in the league are either 2-3 or 3-2. (We'll get to the other two later.) That means every game counts for everyone in ways we couldn't have even imagined in our wildest imaginations before the season started. One misplaced kicker could make or break your season. One wrong choice at FLEX and you're on the next train to Jeanshortsville. So keep your wits about you, work the waiver wire, and - if you can somehow stomach it - make a trade with Mike Cole. (You gotta do what you gotta do...)
Recap ho...
Octagon 127 Thong 72
It's amazing that between Alshon Jeffrey, Marshawn Lynch, and Jordan Cameron, they didn't manage a single point this past week. Not one! I mean, Rich spent a lot of money at auction on them and they are all hugely talented guys. Nobody could have suspected they score zero points TOTAL. Who would have guessed THAT? Nobody could fault Rich for ignoring his lineup with those guys in there. I mean, sure, Jeffrey and Lynch were both inactive on Sunday and Cameron was on bye. But that's no reason to resort to the drastic move of benching them! Even despite those handicaps, Rich had all the confidence in the world that they would produce, and you have to give him credit for sticking by his guys even with an 0-4 (now 0-5) record. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you hope....
Frantic 107 Falafel 105
This one was closer than two catfish in a skillet. If one of the catfish just beat by two points and lost Jamal Charles for the season. And if the other catfish is Brad.
Fargo 112 Bacon 102
At some point this season we're going to have to come up with the Maine Levels Of Losing. I think this one probably ranked a 13 out of 10. Because it was a dog fight right up until the very end. If Mike Vick just QB-sneaked (snuck? snucked?) it into the end zone on the last play of the whole damn week, Maine would have won. Instead, the Steelers made the asinine play call of running Le'Veon Bell out of the Wildcat and wasting all 5 seconds of game-clock even though they had a timeout. Ridiculous. I couldn't fall asleep for an hour after that shit, and I didn't even have a dog in the fight. I couldn't even imagine how Maine must have felt.
Sausage 132 Swallows 123
OK. At some point we're going to have to take this smug asshole down a peg. First he comes in here and takes our Chicken Bone Cup. This season he's 4-1 and in first place and won't stop shit talking. And now he's all up bragging on our message board and trying to tell us the rules of our league!?! Well fuck that guy! I'm sick of his shit. I hope Steve kicks his ever-loving ass this weekend and DeAndre Hopkins gets his leg mangled by a beagle.
Perdedor 140 Winnebago 118
So in this matchup Robby's team....sigh...wait...No. NO. I. CAN'T. EVEN. I'm still too fired up about Sausage King and his antics around here lately. Goddammmit!!! He's like the Terrell Owens of our league...always trying to start shit with somebody. And the arrogance!!! They guys wins one lucky championship and suddenly he's "best fantasy owner of all time." And that is a direct quote from his blog. You should see what he writes on there. Especially about Steve. It's even worse that what he puts on our message board. Please, for the love of all that's good in the world, will somebody please beat this bald asshole??? I just can't deal with him anymore...
- The Commish
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Week 4 Recap
Hey gang,
No preamble this week, let's go straight to the recap......
Officer Octagon 118 Falafel 83
Whether due to the start of bye weeks, or simply regression to the mean, the scores this week were way lower than last week. 118 was plenty for me to to get past Falafel's weak-ass showing of 83. And speaking of weak ass Falafel showings....
Bacon on Chainwax 99 Frantic 78
Fantasy is weird sometimes. One week after getting screwed over in the highest-points matchup of the whole season, Maine ends up winning by 21 points in the lowest-points matchup of the whole season. Guess karma evens out for those who pay backtaxes.
Fargo Woodchippers 114 Winnebago Man 99
With Gronk and Brady on bye, Robby suffers his first defeat of the season. Meanwhile, Mike Frank moves to 2-2 and is busy collecting mediocre quarterbacks. What's that you say? Tell you something you don't know? Nah, I'll let Winnebago Man do it...
Sausage King & Mary 140 House of Sad Thongs 113
Sean's team keeps rolling, but on the flip side, it's time for our first eulogy of the season. It's hard to believe, but Rich's fantasy team has already met its end. At 0-4, it's hard to imagine the Thong climbing out of this (butt)hole. It's a sad day for the Thong...
European Swallows 120 Slurenity Now 93
Sure, Steve's team is 1-3 and in 9th place. But how 'bout them Gators?!!! Undefeated and ranked in the Top 12 after crushing Ole Miss in the swamp!!! Now, I'm no gator fan, but I'm in favor of anything that will get Steve excited about football so that his high hopes and dreams can once again be dashed. But until the Gators choke against Missouri this weekend in some horrible fashion, I'll leave you with another round of "Classic Steve" from 2004....
"Look, you ignorant jackass, you're only up by 6 points with two weeks left and you're bound to make a stupid decision this week. Besides, there's no fucking way you can possibly win the poker title, the regular season title, and the playoff title all in one year! Hell will freeze over, monkeys will fly out of Robby's ass, dogs and cats will live together, and I'll kill a puppy before that happens!!! So just be content with winning two out of three and shut the hell up for the next 3 weeks
Oh yeah, and BLOW ME!!!"
Cheers,
- The Commish
No preamble this week, let's go straight to the recap......
Officer Octagon 118 Falafel 83
Whether due to the start of bye weeks, or simply regression to the mean, the scores this week were way lower than last week. 118 was plenty for me to to get past Falafel's weak-ass showing of 83. And speaking of weak ass Falafel showings....
Bacon on Chainwax 99 Frantic 78
Fantasy is weird sometimes. One week after getting screwed over in the highest-points matchup of the whole season, Maine ends up winning by 21 points in the lowest-points matchup of the whole season. Guess karma evens out for those who pay backtaxes.
Fargo Woodchippers 114 Winnebago Man 99
With Gronk and Brady on bye, Robby suffers his first defeat of the season. Meanwhile, Mike Frank moves to 2-2 and is busy collecting mediocre quarterbacks. What's that you say? Tell you something you don't know? Nah, I'll let Winnebago Man do it...
Sausage King & Mary 140 House of Sad Thongs 113
Sean's team keeps rolling, but on the flip side, it's time for our first eulogy of the season. It's hard to believe, but Rich's fantasy team has already met its end. At 0-4, it's hard to imagine the Thong climbing out of this (butt)hole. It's a sad day for the Thong...
European Swallows 120 Slurenity Now 93
Sure, Steve's team is 1-3 and in 9th place. But how 'bout them Gators?!!! Undefeated and ranked in the Top 12 after crushing Ole Miss in the swamp!!! Now, I'm no gator fan, but I'm in favor of anything that will get Steve excited about football so that his high hopes and dreams can once again be dashed. But until the Gators choke against Missouri this weekend in some horrible fashion, I'll leave you with another round of "Classic Steve" from 2004....
"Look, you ignorant jackass, you're only up by 6 points with two weeks left and you're bound to make a stupid decision this week. Besides, there's no fucking way you can possibly win the poker title, the regular season title, and the playoff title all in one year! Hell will freeze over, monkeys will fly out of Robby's ass, dogs and cats will live together, and I'll kill a puppy before that happens!!! So just be content with winning two out of three and shut the hell up for the next 3 weeks
Oh yeah, and BLOW ME!!!"
Cheers,
- The Commish
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